PrincessP wrote:
Doesn't sound horrid at all - just normal to me! I spend a lot of time wondering how I would feel if my abuser died. There is no way I would go to his funeral, which the rest of the family would be offended and confused about. Not a chance I'm going to listen to someone say a load of nice things that are complete bollocks.
My current thinking (yes I am aware that I've thought far too much about this) is that I hope he dies before I do, so that I can live safely in the world for a while. I would also like to get hold of his ashes and either flush him into the sewer or make him into a brick which is set at about knee-height on the corner of a street where lots of dogs will cock their legs and pee on him daily. These are the thoughts that keep me from ending it all when the depression sets in. I don't want to die before he does.
I waited all of my life for him to die (I hope that doesn't sound horrid, but he was very abusive to me). When he finally did die, it was inappropriate to cheer, or have a party, or be happy/relieved about it. My father died, and good or bad, he was "Dad". The world teaches you, in its warped thinking, that ALL the dead become saints, and we have to pay our respects, even when they made your life worse than Hell.
Doesn't sound horrid at all - just normal to me! I spend a lot of time wondering how I would feel if my abuser died. There is no way I would go to his funeral, which the rest of the family would be offended and confused about. Not a chance I'm going to listen to someone say a load of nice things that are complete bollocks.
My current thinking (yes I am aware that I've thought far too much about this) is that I hope he dies before I do, so that I can live safely in the world for a while. I would also like to get hold of his ashes and either flush him into the sewer or make him into a brick which is set at about knee-height on the corner of a street where lots of dogs will cock their legs and pee on him daily. These are the thoughts that keep me from ending it all when the depression sets in. I don't want to die before he does.