Reading

[stuff]

Does anyone else have difficulty with reading? I've had focus problems since I was a teen, but still loved it, however it seems like after starting EMDR my eyes bounce back and forth on the page after 5-6 mins. Reading a book from cover to cover is a near impossibility.

My T asked if I would make an appointment with my GP to rule out anything physical, which is making me nervous because my grandfather died of a brain tumour. I just always figured this was a side effect of the ptsd.

 

[macca]

I've had many years where I was ok, and reading was not a problem. But since my PTSD hit me hard, reading is a huge problem. Lately, I've had trouble reading much of this forum, let alone a book, or an article, etc. I think maybe being in "threat mode" so often has a lot to do with it - stuck in our traumas and therefore stuck in survival mode means there's no room for higher-order thinking.

 

[seedling]

I had a lot of difficulty reading the first year or two after PTSD started. No concentration, couldn't understand anything. The words would jump around and some of the stuff I read would trigger me.
Now I can physically read, mostly short things. I would love to sit down and become immersed in a book again.

Right before the trauma I bought Charles Dickens' Little Dorrit and was looking forward to reading it. I used to read every chance I could get throughout the day, my way of taking a break. I would be in another world.

I still have that book, unopened. I hope someday I might be able to read like that again. I'm thankful that I can read magazines and instructions again.

I think it does get better, it takes time. I till haven't watched the movie of LIttle Dorrit, hoping that I may be able to read the book again someday and that way I won't know what happens.:tup:

 

[katiekat]

I've never been able to read. I think I have read 10 nonacademic books in my 30 years, and I am not sure I even read any school books cover to cover. I was diagnosed with ADD at 26, which has made a lot of sense and has helped explain my inability to read. I will read a paragraph, then usually have to re-read it because I have forgotten what I just read. I get so frustrated that I can't get thru a page and lose interest. I have one book that I have started and read the first 50 pages about 5 times. Not sure if I'll ever get thru that one!

 

[jenirose]

I used to read every day until I "flipped s***" (as I call it) I can't focus at all anymore I can't get through a couple pages let alone a whole book. Sadly you are not alone. I so miss curling up with a good book!

 

[Hashi]

I used to read at least a book a week, then when I got PTSD I couldn't get to the end of a paragraph.

I found I could manage audiobooks, though. I took out a subscription to an audiobook site, which works out quite cheap and you can "return" them if you don't like them. For older books out of copyright you can legally download free copies read by volunteers from librivox.org. The quality's variable because they're volunteers, but most are good. Audiobooks have really helped me get through a long time of not being able to read.

Recently, though, I've started reading print books again! I'm still really excited about this. Admittedly, I have to keep renewing them from the library because I read only a little bit every day, but I'm doing that and really enjoying reading again. My ability is gradually increasing as I do that.

I missed reading terribly. It does come back eventually. Meanwhile I recommend giving audiobooks a try in case that works for you.

 

[Hashi]

@stuff, I doubt you have a brain tumour. Difficulty concentrating, including difficulty reading, is very common with PTSD.

I'm wondering about the link to EMDR, though. Could it be more that it's a side effect of EMDR, a difficulty in your brain resettling afterwards? Like the first time I went skiiing, when I was in bed that night I felt like I was still zig zagging all over the place even though I was lying still.

Do you mean you could read with PTSD before you started EMDR?

 

[shimmerz]

@stuff. Ditto. I used to blow through 1000+ page manuals when I was able to work before my meltdown. Now I have a problem reading a paragraph in a book. Screen stuff is easier for me but I have to say even it I struggle with depending on what is going on at the time.

 

[shell]

When I was really stressed, not sleeping and having suicidal thoughts I couldn't read at all, I would get to the end of a one page letter at work and have to re-read it three or four times just so I could even slightly comprehend the content, it was really frightening I thought I was going nuts and would lose my job.

Now I am back to reading two to three books most weeks and while sometimes I find myself not focusing it's nothing like what it was.

 

[stuff]

@Hashi , I have likely had PTSD for quite sometime and I've had difficulty since my mid-teens, which is when some of my really notable trauma happened, so I don't think it's just the EMDR, I just noticed it got even harder with the EMDR. My therapist had stopped with the EMDR stuff for a while because I was starting to have some upsetting dissociation come up in the last couple sessions.

 

[Shatteredpan]

Yeah, I have trouble focusing on what I read. Even the forums are kinda hard right now lol...