Real Worry And Anxiety: How Do You Tell?

[sun seeker]

I suppose this is part of hypervigilance. I hate how my mind just won't stop moving from one thing to be anxious about to another and how there is seemingly no way to tell what is something legitimate that I should be worried about (or do something about) and what is just the product of a mind that can't turn off. If things start getting too quiet and calm, it's as if my mind starts doing backflips to be sure I don't get too complacent. At the root of all the things I get like this about, if I dig deep enough, are the same few basic fears that stem from early trauma, though by this time they are often encased in a lot of layers.

Sometimes it gets to the point where I've reasoned with myself that if I'm anxious about it, it probably isn't real. I've even made lists of the things I've obsessed over and how many of them have actually happened, and the ratio is very small. But that doesn't mean none of them are ever real... and once the anxiety gets bad enough or persists long enough, trying to talk myself out of it doesn't get me anywhere.

It's exhausting. How do you learn to differentiate between "real" anxiety and anxiety that's just... anxiety? How do you know whether to treat it as a symptom or as a sign you need to do something about the specific thing you're anxious about? Or do you just have to live with it until you've worked through enough of the trauma that your mind calms down? I need some help here, I'm clueless.

 

[Deedee187]

I suppose this is part of hypervigilance. I hate how my mind just won't stop moving from one thing t...

I think the only real differentiation should be made not as to if its "real" vs not so real... but whether you can do something about it, or not. If you can't do anything about it.. but worry and have weird feelings than you should let go. (Or work on letting go, maybe meditation/ breathing exercises). If you can do something about it... then do what you need to do, or set a plan in action to do it. P.S. (I dont really consider myself to have PTSD because mine is hardly triggered, I just have anxiety and chronic depression)

 

[sun seeker]

Hi @Deedee187. Welcome to the forum!

Well you see, if I look at each individual thing I obsess over, there is always something more I could do about it. But if I acted on each one, it would take over my life. I'd be putting out fires all day long so to speak... nearly as soon as I take care of one thing and reassure myself it's all right, another thing comes up. So I do need to learn the difference.

 

[Deedee187]

Hi @Deedee187. Welcome to the forum!

Well you see, if I look at each individual...

Sorry, I am new to the website and do not know how to tag someone so I will just keep replying :) . Well things that can take a life time to change or fix? I mean are you assuming other people's problems/feelings/reactions? I guess I would need an example to really be able to try to help. But generally, each time I try to find an example from my own life... I can't think of one for myself, because right after I have a rationalization of is this my duty or business or really have to do with me or not. So maybe that might be the distinction. If it is, then what I do is rationalize that way, then rationalize on the appropriate amount of energy I can put towards it, with a clear, in sight finish line/ or deadline. (not sure if any of this makes sense ) lol

 

[sun seeker]

It seems like this symptom gets worse whenever I try to participate more in the world. At the moment it takes very little because I'm so vulnerable. Going out to get groceries doesn't send my anxiety through the roof anymore, but it doesn't take much that's outside of my very closely defined bubble to get the adrenaline pumping and my thoughts racing from one thing to worry over to another. I'm reminded of this thread on bubble-izing:
www.myptsd.com/c/threads/bubblize-ing-a-definition.50002/

My bubble has become so very small, I'm in no way deluded into thinking I'm cured. Stay at home, don't interact with the world, don't try to work, don't try to do anything with more than a few steps and I have a safety of sorts. Of sorts. But that's not real life. Eventually the demands of reality encroach on my bubble, and then I remember: Oh. Right. I have a basic terror of not being safe in the world. I don't know how to cope. And I hate being this helpless.

It all comes down to two things: abandonment and survival. Which if you go back far enough, are one and the same.

 

[sun seeker]

You tag by putting the @ sign before the username. So to tag you, I write your username like this: @Deedee187.

Anyone who is already participating in the thread will get notification of new posts anyway. At least, they'll get notification that there is a new post and may be more new posts after it.

I mean are you assuming other people's problems/feelings/reactions?

Nope. These are my own problems. They're not about responsibility. Or, well, sometimes they are, because I do have that problem too, but the basic fear behind all of them is of terrible things happening, like someone dying or of being helpless and not able to survive if I get them wrong. Only I can't tell which are real things I need to do something about and which are the product of my trauma.

 

[Deedee187]

It seems like this symptom gets worse whenever I try to participate more in the world. At the moment...

I haven't read the link you shared yet. But, I think you should try meditation. There's guided meditations so that they narrate what to imagine etc. Really, I am so sorry that you feel helpless, and you shouldn't because you have the power to change your perception. From what youve said abandonment and survival are issues, but really you were born alone, we all were. Whatever made you feel abandoned in actuality, isn't real. It's real because of how you feel and how you might nurture it, but other wise, we were born alone. "Society" is a beautiful, complex system that has created a bunch of sub systems defined by whomever, and our sadness, anxiety etc seems to be based off that most of the time. The compare and contrast of whatever is expected or normal. As for survival, you are surviving. You are alive. You are on earth, and one day you wont be. Because dying and living, means the same thing. You choose how you want to live, what you want to be important to you, how you want to perceive actions and reactions while you are here, because one day... you wont be and ultimately after anything and everything negative, you hurt or cry, but you wont be here anymore...its temporary. Your fear isn't real. (not that being scared isnt real but the worst case scenario in any scenario isnt.) ___In no way am I trying to down play your emotions but for me and my esoteric beliefs, this logic has helped me decide in times of stress or cope with my depression. --------

 

[sun seeker]

I'm not sure why I'm not able to connect to the logic here and translate it into something my anxious brain can understand. But yes, I'm sure you're right that meditation would be helpful. Thank you for reminding me of that.

 

[Deedee187]

I'm not sure why I'm not able to connect to the logic here and translate it into something my anxious...

Its fine you can always re visit this when you are less emotional (not enough to feel like venting). But yes meditation is awesome!!! Just takes so much for me to actually get to do it. But I always need it.