Hi all . .Im new here but finding it very helpful.
I also have had a shoe dropping realisiation that a close [now totally cut out] 'friend' had NPD.
When I stumbled accross the disorder description randomly online, i nearly fell over. He exhibited every single one of the traits, and as i had already identified him as someone who made me feel much MUCH worse anytime i saw him, i was able to use this diagnosis [by me :) ] as a means to not fall back into 'trying to understand' him, or go back to our 'friendship' [which was nothing of the sort] . . .and to completely reject his fakery for ever. It stands to reason, though, that this would have been far [faaaar] harder if he was family, or if i was in a relationship with him.
Here is the list and synopsis, I hope its appropriate to post these;
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Symptoms of this disorder [NPD] include, but are not limited to:
• Reacts to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation
• May take advantage of others to reach their own goal
• Tends to exaggerate their own importance, achievements, and talents
• Imagines unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance
• Requires constant attention and positive reinforcement from others
• Easily becomes jealous
• Lacks empathy and disregards the feelings of others
• Obsessed with oneself
• Mainly pursues selfish goals
• Trouble keeping healthy relationships
• Is easily hurt and rejected
• Sets unrealistic goals
• Wants "the best" of everything
• Appears as tough-minded or unemotional
The symptoms of Narcissistic personality disorder can be similar to the traits of individuals with strong self-esteem and confidence; differentiation occurs when the underlying psychological structures of these traits are considered pathological. Narcissists have such an elevated sense of self-worth that they value themselves as inherently better than others. Yet, they have a fragile self-esteem and cannot handle criticism, and will often try to compensate for this inner fragility by belittling or disparaging others in an attempt to validate their own self-worth. It is this sadistic tendency that is characteristic of narcissism as opposed to other psychological conditions affecting level of self-worth.
In children, inflated self-views and grandiose feelings, which are characteristics of narcissism, are part of the normal self-development. Children are typically unable to understand the difference between their actual from ideal self, which causes an unrealistic perception of the self. After about age 8, views of the self, both positive and negative, begin to develop based on comparisons of peers & become more realistic. Two factors that cause self-view to remain unrealistic are dysfunctional interactions with parents that can be a lack or excessive attention. The child will either compensate for lack of attention or act in terms of unrealistic self-perception.
The CNS, Childhood Narcissism Scale, measurements concluded that narcissistic children seek to impress others & gain admiration but do not have any interest in creating sincere friendships. CNS researchers have measured that childhood narcissism has become more prevalent in Western society: any types of activities that focus on overly praising the individual, can raise narcissistic levels. More research is needed to find the reasons that promote or protect against narcissism.
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[taken from wikipedia]
All the best,
Blessings,
Kieran.
