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Realized i'm incredibly naive when it comes to sex

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EveHarrington

EveHarrington

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Yes, I recently realized I'm incredibly naive when it comes to sex.

It's incredibly embarrassing and triggers that toxic shame in me, throwing me into flashbacks.

I'm HOW old and STILL this naive about sex?

Oh dear God, I just want to go crawl in a hole and die.

I see myself as valuable only in a sexual way and now that it's coming to light that I'm sexually naive..... It's all turning into internal turmoil and chaos.

I thought it was bad to be valued only for sex. Now I'm not valuable in the least, for anything. Chaos/Chaos/CHAOS!!!!

Please post words of support if you can. I just want to drug the day away.
 
Beleive me, whatever put that idea into your head is not worth the dime...

First of all, you're worth is not valued in sexual pleasure or lack of it. Second, who says we all need to be porn stars anyway? Duck that stick...! If you're having an issue satisfying someone, it's something you can work on together, it's not your fault for being naive. You are the way you are and that alone should be appreciated, if you're not getting that appreciation, get out of that situation.

Your*... ugh..
 
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@EveHarrington Really all I can say is that honestly sex was not something meant to be "good at" or very knowledgeable of it was a beautiful act supposed to be explored and enjoyed by you and your partner. A way to come together and closer. Unfortunately, people in today's world (myself included- regrettably) have completely degraded this into a way to feel worth, and being a slut has become glamorized in a sense. You are worth so much more! This is definitely not something to feel ashamed about.
 
This struggle strikes me as not so much being about being naive about sex. It strikes me this is more about core beliefs and how you define yourself as a person.
EveHarrington said:
I see myself as valuable only in a sexual way
Click to expand...
You are valuable for who you are, as a smart, compassionate, and courageous person. Not at someone who is only valuable in a sexual way. It is heartbreaking to see that you think this way about yourself. You are valuable. For you. All of you, flaws and all. And being naive about sex... damn, there are people out there who are actually attracted to people who are naive about it. Being naive or not doesn't reduce your value. At all.

You don't have to answer this if you don't want to at all... but I'm wondering who first gave you the message that you are only valuable in a sexual way? Whoever gave you that message, they were wrong.
 
No... that's not your worth. You gotta change that incorrect belief to change how you feel, to in turn change your behavior. Every feeling and every action comes back to a belief. If we believe that's all we are worth, we can't progress.... its hard though, I'm working on it too.

If a guy wont have sex with me, for whatever their reason, I immediately feel worthless or null. My beliefs about men and sexuality are warped because of my past but I'm happier to know now that I've recognized it and can deal with it from there. I've had a lot of trouble adjusting to emotional intimacy, where sexual intimacy was always easy.
 
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