My apologies. I didn't mean to get anyone worked up or pissed off. But simply explain what I was going through. I do keep the chamber empty, and I do lock the weapon up in the morning, and I do tell my kids everyday that guns are not toys and as they grow up I will teach them how to use a gun safely. I won't begrudge anyone for their opinion of how they see me, as I live in America everyone has the right to his/her opinion or view and as long as you don't try to shove that ideal/opinion down my throat you can bloody well say what you want. So in saying that here is my take.
I would love to be able to trust that when some wanker breaks into my house to steal whatever worthless item he is looking for I would be able to knock the living shit out of his dumb-ass with my killer ninja skills that I have learned over the years. But lets face it no one wins all the time and the one time you lose, you could lose more then just worthless items in your house, you could lose your family.
Reality is more then likely that piece of shit will come into my house armed, as I do live in America where for $100 you can buy yourself a really cheap Glock off the local dill weed down the street. Chances are that he wouldn't just want my telly, or my stereo, or my money, he would want to make sure that I don't remember who he is or what he looked like. So more then likely he will be dumb enough to use it on me or my kids. That would be like going bare knuckles to gun fight, and Jakie Chan I ain't.
Yes I hated what I have had to do in the past and yes I hate having the nightmares and the flashbacks and I don't want to have to pull that trigger ever again. But as God is my witness I will do whatever I have to when it comes to my family. And I will without hesitation KILL that worthless f*ck. Will it be good for me? good for my family? NO it won't and it will be one more thing that would haunt my soul for as long as I live but I cannot allow the alternative to happen.
Do I live with the fact that I took another life, or do I live with the fact that I couldn't protect my family and one of them died as a result of it. Because I will tell you this. If one of them died because I got overtaken, because I got my ass kicked and knocked out because I wasn't prepared enough to defend my family, I would never forgive myself and I would spiral down that dark abyss until I couldn't take it anymore. Right or wrong I don't give a damn what anyone thinks about how I live my life. I've been pissing fine, and my balls are still attached where the wife can find them and she's happy and content with my manly ways so I'm pretty sure I'm still a man.
In a perfect world we would never have the need to protect ourselves from others, we would be all brothers and sisters without having to fear for our families, but lets face it. We live in a society that prays on the weak (at least here in the U.S.), a society that goes to new depths of moral and ethical depravity. Am I paranoid? HELL YES. I don't trust anyone I don't know and I don't know many civilians due to the fact that I don't trust them. I DO NOT want to have use my gun in any way shape or form other then target practice. I don't want to have to have someone die by my hands again, but I won't live in a facade. The world is a nasty ass bitch who will f*ck you over the first chance she gets and if your naive or too much a touchy-feely-warm-hearted-good-natured type of person you will be the first to go when she comes a calling. As for me when the shit hits the fan, I plan on being the one prepared to take on whatever comes my way to the best of my ability with whatever "unmanly" way I can.
Once again I'm sorry I pissed off some people and will refrain from doing so in the future.
