Poll Reasons for military PTSD

[Simon Marc]

In this poll I would like to ask veterans anonymously about what they think what might be the reason for their PTSD. Only answers by veterans to avoid the distortion of results, please! If you have any tips for me how to improve this poll, don't hesitate to contact me.

 

[LuckiLee]

I showed my combat veteran your poll. He says "all of the above" and would add the loss of his brothers in and after combat. The brutality of it.

✌

 

[Simon Marc]

I showed my combat veteran your poll. He says "all of the above" and would add the loss of his brothers in and after combat. The brutality of it.

✌

Thanks for your reply. I can't imagine the pain... I will update this poll.

 

[Friday]

No idea.

There wasn’t any one thing, exactly*. All I know is that every time I came back home I was getting wilder and wilder, and that I was diagnosed with PTSD about a year before *I* thought I had any kind of problem. Did I have panic attacks & nightmares & shit during that year? Sure. But so did everyone I worked with. It was just considered a cost of doing business. Like hurting everywhere. Something to make fun of, and shrug off.

In retrospect? It was actually the getting wilder that was the biggest “tell” that something was wrong. Because my normal had reset / was resetting... emotions were blunting... and I was requiring bigger and bigger “oomph” to enjoy myself/feel anything, or blow off steam.

The “not exactly” part above? It’s something I’ve thought about a lot... and the only event that stands out as the first time everything changed? Was the first time I was in the field. Not in training, but actually working. Everything just clicked. Snapped into place. I felt alive. Like for the very first time. Like I had found my place in the world, where I was meant to be, where I belonged, where I was right... and it was f*cking amazing.

Coming back after that? Was just surreal. Like the world had lost its color, and I lost my place in the world.

Regret, remorse, pain, rage, loss, betrayal, sadness, fear... sure. Shrug. No shortage of those in life. But that wasn’t when everything changed.

 

[Simon Marc]

No idea.

There wasn’t any one thing, exactly*. All I know is that every time I came back home I was getting wilder and wilder, and that I was diagnosed with PTSD about a year before *I* thought I had any kind of problem. Did I have panic attacks & nightmares & shit during that year? Sure. But so did everyone I worked with. It was just considered a cost of doing business. Like hurting everywhere. Something to make fun of, and shrug off.

In retrospect? It was actually the getting wilder that was the biggest “tell” that something was wrong. Because my normal had reset / was resetting... emotions were blunting... and I was requiring bigger and bigger “oomph” to enjoy myself/feel anything, or blow off steam.

The “not exactly” part above? It’s something I’ve thought about a lot... and the only event that stands out as the first time everything changed? Was the first time I was in the field. Not in training, but actually working. Everything just clicked. Snapped into place. I felt alive. Like for the very first time. Like I had found my place in the world, where I was meant to be, where I belonged, where I was right... and it was f*cking amazing.

Coming back after that? Was just surreal. Like the world had lost its color, and I lost my place in the world.

Regret, remorse, pain, rage, loss, betrayal, sadness, fear... sure. Shrug. No shortage of those in life. But that wasn’t when everything changed.

Wow, I never saw the issue from this perspective. PTSD might be more complicated than most people say. A lot of folks just think it's only the killing what messes with the soldier's head.

 

[LuckiLee]

You don't have to kill anyone to suffer with ptsd.

 

[Ronin]

Kidnapped as a child / not viewed as a fighter but merely a whore for the troops after, or if a fighter, a monster / no chance at reintegration / no real return home, re recruitment, eh.

Right, that does not go for reasons, right. Merely illustrates the clusterf*ck with tangled difficulties.
(So cough, some polling options for those of us that didn’t exactly enlist voluntarily, or as an adult, would be grand?)

Otherwise, all of the above.

 

[Ronin]

A lot of folks just think it's only the killing what messes with the soldier's head.

Reminds me, Anthony (the founder of this site) wrote a damn brilliant article on exactly this topic, a while back, so you might want to look for that one?

 

[Friday]

Reminds me, Anthony (the founder of this site) wrote a damn brilliant article on exactly this topic

Yes.

It was one of those perfect timing, seriously saved my ass things.

Military - Killing Is Not What Messes With Your Head

 

[Simon Marc]

Kidnapped as a child / not viewed as a fighter but merely a whore for the troops after, or if a fighter, a monster / no chance at reintegration / no real return home, re recruitment, eh.

Right, that does not go for reasons, right. Merely illustrates the clusterf*ck with tangled difficulties.
(So cough, some polling options for those of us that didn’t exactly enlist voluntarily, or as an adult, would be grand?)

Otherwise, all of the above.

Ok, I think I will wait some days until I have more ideas to improve the poll. But yeah, your point will be included in the updated version. Thanks for your contribution.

Reminds me, Anthony (the founder of this site) wrote a damn brilliant article on exactly this topic, a while back, so you might want to look for that one?

Yes, I have already read the article. Joey, the admin of myptsd, recommended it to me. Like you say, it's brilliant and delivers great insight into the issue.

 

[The Albatross]

MST - Military Sexual Trauma is not listed. That was my case however I had PTSD most likely before that (ample evidence and validated by family members and in therapy). I did though not have sexual traumas other than verbal sexual abuse before military service and my reaction to those was extreme and destructive. MST is a major thing in the military. It was so corrosive to my psyche (not just one MST trauma but several during service) that I had a "mandatory report order" to the chow hall because I dropped weight and would not eat - three times. Social Actions was bull shit. I had two people on my base who were not to come within 500 feet of me. Whoo f'ing hoo.

 

[The Albatross]

Retrieved about MST for consideration and it was reasonably astute for my own direct personal experiences in the military:

“Conviction rates in the military are pathetic, with most offenders going free AND THERE IS NO RECOURSE FOR APPEAL! The military believes the Emperor has his clothes on, even when they are down around his ankles and he is coming in the woman's window with a knife! Military juries give low sentences or clear offender's altogether. Women can be heard to say “it's not just me” over and over. Men may get an Article 15, which is just a slap on the wrist, and doesn't even follow them in their career. This is hardly a deterrent. The perpetrator frequently stays in place to continue to intimidate their female victims, who are then treated like mental cases, who need to be discharged. Women find the tables turned, letters in their files, trumped up Women find the tables turned, letters in their files, trumped up charges; isolation and transfer are common, as are court ordered psychiatric referrals that label the women as lying or incompatible with military service because they are “Borderline Personality Disorders” or mentally unbalanced. I attended many of these women, after they were discharged, or were wives of abusers, from xxx Air Force Base, when I was a psychotherapist working in the private sector. That was always their diagnosis, yet retesting tended to show something different after stabilization, like PTSD.” ~ Diane Chamberlain, Conduct Unbecoming: Rape, Torture, and Post Traumatic

P.S. To be fair, the above quote is flawed to the degree that it presumes the victims are female... a large/disproportionate are however that is not entirely true. In my recovery I was assistive to several veterans of Iraq/Afghanistan whose sexual assaults/rape contributed to co-occurring behaviors (SUDS and PTSD).