Rebelling against what's good for you?

[Teasel]

Ya don't say

 

[The Albatross]

Okay since I'm not sure what you mean I'm off the thread.

 

[Leighlee87]

I am guessing there must be some kind of similar root to your defiance and my rebelliousness - though...

I think it basically stems from a need for control. I grew up in a very abusive controlling environment, so by being defiant I was able to preserve some feeling of control and autonomy over my own life even if it cost me to do so.

I think I still do it as an adult, or at the very least test boundaries, as a way of testing the waters to make sure my autonomy is still intact. So like, new situations or situations where I'm dealing with a person of authority, I will always push boundaries to make sure I have freedoms and be safe. But I'll still do it at various times if I'm triggered by something.

 

[Teasel]

I think it might be fear/ no worth (feeling?).

It's like knee-jerk.

I think this is it.

I have an intense knee Jerk fear response. And have grown up being labelled bad things so label myself bad things. Not saying this very well but anyway yes I think it's fear not just rebelliousness alone.