Sufferer Recently Diagnosed Ptsd

[Kaleb]

I just found this group. My Doctor said I needed to take a leave from work to heal and do whatever needs to be done to fix these ongoing symptoms that I’ve had for most of my life, although they continue to grow worse. This forum looks like a good place to vent so I signed up.

I get the PTSD part in my life, since I have all the symptoms, but I continue to struggling with where to start. Being off work removed the distractions and my ability to avoid facing things, even though avoidance wasn’t working that well anymore. I have multiple major traumas in my life that just kept building on each other. They started at age 9 when my dad violently tried to kill my mom, then abuse from an uncle, destructive relationships where I always became the punching bag in my 20’s, a series of horrific failures in my 30’s and then a misunderstanding got me abducted out of the blue and thrown into a horrific gang infested prison. It took nearly a year to get that one figured out, and left me with some scars.

I’m a normal looking guy with a strong resume and a list of successes, but I’m falling apart and losing track of reality. The people around me at work have no idea that I my history is so much different than theirs, or that I’m cracking on the inside like a spinning wheel about to come apart. I can’t cope at work anymore, but being off work is just as hard as I try to figure out how to get better so I can go on with life, even though I don’t always want to. I don’t know if I’m looking for answers here or just unloading.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

This is a wonderful community for information and support. It is also good to be with folk who 'get it'.

 

[Springer80]

Hi Kaleb,

A warm welcome to the forum. Your doctor sounds worth their weight in gold. I too have been signed off work, just coming up to a year and I'm starting to get on my feet.

Take it easy, rest yourself, no escape plans or mental lists! Decompression only. It's a tricky one to adjust to but you deserve it I'm sure.

Springer X

 

[Kaleb]

Wow, a year? That part scares me. I'm going on a month and struggling both with the PTSD and anxiety about having a job. I can take a max of 4 months on short term disability, then it goes to long term. I've never been on disability, I'm not even sure if my long term insurance will cover this... as you can see I'm still working on the anxiety part of everything.

 

[Springer80]

Hi Kaleb,

I found it quite a paradoxical process, I started out looking for different jobs etc which was laughable, I doubt I would have gotten past interview, I went to the gym daily like a crazy fool. It took me quite a while to learn to stop attacking myself like a problem.

I had developed some other health problems which where then exacerbated by medication which reacted adversely. So it took the first few months to sort that out. I'm trying to do this comprehensively though, I had enough of compromises so I'm taking what it takes for me. Everyone gets to their limit I suppose.

I found that having an indefinite length of time helped because I wasn't worrying about recovering to a time scale. It wasn't really 'recovering' because I'm not trying to achieve what I was doing before, it's a complete adaptation. It was slow, in my opinion, because it needed to be.

Good Luck, it sounds like your on the right route and it will take what it takes...

 

[p-no]

Welcome to the forum. :)

Been off work for over a month, looks like I will be for a long time and have only just started into getting disability and ill health retirement. I'm in Germany and those processes differ a lot in the different countries it seems.

There is a reason you're off work right now and I think it really deserves to be taken seriously and attended to. You have gone through several major traumas and I hope and wish for you to allow yourself to mend.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[intothelight]

Hi Kaleb,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

Being off work provides a great opportunity for making yourself and getting better a priority. You didn't state whether or not you were in therapy, but having a good trauma therapist is an invaluable asset for healing. I hope you find the information and support here also helpful in your healing journey.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[Brad1980]

I also had to quit working due to symptoms. It is a blessing and a curse. I also have some mental health issues to go with ptsd. Not working relieved a great deal of stress and had made it possible for me to get my life together for the first time. I hope you take the opportunity to allow yourself to heal. I am not good at taking care of myself. I am getting better. Good luck on your journey. peace

 

[Kaleb]

I’m an early traveler on this road. My healing journey has just started. I met with my Dr. yesterday. He said not to plan on going back to work for a while. I guess I've got some work to do first. Learning peace and being at rest isn't easy for me. How do you guys find rest and what therapy treatment have you found effective? I’m reading a lot about PTSD. Most of it refers to “the event”. I have multiple events with different things that trigger reactions. This could be a bumpy ride.

 

[Brad1980]

I had multiple events in my life also. Childhood was not very fun,and early adulthood was pretty brutal. I have struggled with this since I was 5. Been to different kinds of therapy. The one that has changed my life has been EMDR. It is unlike most other therapy. I have found some relief for things that haunted me for decades. I also have mental health issues. It took a long time to find the right combinations of meds that help. Try to stay out of your head the enemy lives there. Life for me now if very different. I don't respond like I used to. I think differently now. Good luck on your journey.
Peace