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Recently Diagnosed With PTSD, Now My Head's A Real Mess

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Ok Anthony you wore me down. I will try to approach all this therapy with a little more open mindedness. I want you, and everyone else to know that I DO want to get better. I do not wallow in the misery of all this. I try to get up every morning and think it is going to be the day that things turn around. Maybe one day it actually will. Anyway, thanks for the info and for explaining it better than any of the shrinks I been to over the last four months.
 
You're thinking about it the wrong way I believe. You don't unlearn as such, as that's impossible... But more you change the way in which you have learnt to a more positive / productive manner inline with society views / how you want to be vs. how you are. You learn a better method which replaces the existing.
I'm not sure if I get what you are saying. What do you mean by 'method'?
Sorry for being so dense -.-

@Greg Clark: Cutting ties with my f*mily was the best thing I ever did for myself.


EDIT:
I want you, and everyone else to know that I DO want to get better. I do not wallow in the misery of all this.
It's hard to get involved with something as squishy soft as psychotherapy* when you're used to approaching problems in a direct and concrete way; and it's even harder to admit that you have vulnerable, uncontrollable emotions, when much of your life consists of discipline, strength and fighting through horrible situations.

(*I know that there are treatment modalities like DBT that aren't squishy soft, but in general, the inner workings of the psyche don't compare to the inner workings of an assault rifle, and thus doesn't the way to repair them)
((did I do bad things to the english language here?))
 
Ok Anthony you wore me down. I will try to approach all this therapy with a little more open mindedness.
Awesome FV... that is really positive. Please don't feel as though I was trying to wear you down though, as that is not my intention, but more to answer your questions to the reality of the situation. Many mental health professionals just become burnt out, they forget that we are dumb when it comes to PTSD upon learning we have it... and to understand the processes we need to understand the logic behind them. I can never stress enough, education is key to PTSD. The more you know about the fundamentals, the underlying aspects, the basic biology of what happens to you, then you understand the principles used to change, reshape, manipulate and relearn aspects to change how we are, to how we want to be again... or atleast close enough.

PTSD never goes away, in that there is no cure, but if you think like cancer, it does have remission, it can go away forever or years, depending on how much trauma / stressors you expose yourself to that will provoke it again. Once you deal with the past trauma, then if you manage your exposure to present trauma / work through it as it arises, the fallout is kept minimal vs. the compounding issues that are very typical the first time round, usually resulting in major fallout, depression and suicidal ideation.

There is no one answer to PTSD, there is no one answer to a therapy, there is no one way to skin the PTSD cat, so to speak.

I am impressed that by learning some background though, hence proving the point about education is key, that you are willing to approach this with a better attitude, which immediately changes its outcome.

If someone told you that you where doing exposure therapy and it has no fallout, then their a liar. You will have massive symptom fallout after exposure therapy, however; if you know this and expect it, recover each time, then hit it again, each time increasing your exposure, very very quickly you find the fallout reduces each time, until minimal / zero, and suddenly you are enjoying specific aspects of life again, shopping, socialising, going to concerts, football games, etc, without constant fear and anxiety, hypervigilance, etc. Sure... PTSD doesn't just go away, but you really can lessen the daily impact to near zero and if managed well.

I'm not sure if I get what you are saying. What do you mean by 'method'?
Sorry for being so dense -.-
Your not dense, so please don't put yourself down. Method... easily explained.

Ok, so lets say you fear leaving your home, so lets look at how you would change this by applying different methods to what you currently are. A current method of being reclusive is that you reinforce within the brain that you are safe within your home. Ok... that is kind off true, but not really. If you change your method of thinking to be broader, then you could begin coming up with a myriad of ways you are not as safe in your home as you think, ie. if someone wanted in, they could break a window. A window is not a concrete wall, they break easily, entry is easy.

Cognitive restructuring is about changing our method of thinking, without even touching exposure therapy yet, but changing our thinking to include realistic thoughts vs. what we often tell ourselves and have become our realistic thoughts. A plane could fly over any one of us and the engine fall off and come through our house and kill us. It has happened before. Basically, there are things that can harm us even in our own home. We can get electrocuted, we could fall in the shower or on a slippery floor, the list goes on. Safety and how safe we are, are two very different things. We apply safety to limit risk, but if you try and become safe at all times, then that is unrealistic and impossible.

Lets say you fear going outside, so by using exposure therapy you would create a small dare for yourself bit by bit. Day one, open the door and stand within it, no security door or such between you and the world, for say 5 minutes. Wait and see if you get fallout, ie. symptom increase. If so, wait until they subside over the next days, then do it again... each time daring yourself that little further, ie. go sit out the front for 5 minutes, next time, increase to 10 minutes, next time, walk x distance down your street... continue until you suddenly have no more boundaries where fear is stopping you. These methods change your brain and replace your current thoughts because they over-power the brain with realism vs. theoretical realism that you have reinforced to yourself. This is all normal with PTSD...

The methods we apply in our life are either positive or negative. A negative method is being reclusive, having no friends, not socialising, not enjoying life... so we must change them to positive, little by little only, until suddenly you remove as many of the negatives as you like and replace with positive influences within your life.

Example... Nicolette and I have now taken up dancing lessons, for nothing other than its an activity, we both think its fun and interesting, its outside our normal scope of things we do... we had initial fear, forced ourselves to go, enjoyed it and are going back for more. It allows us to meet others, just get out and be social and relax for an hour or so, it changes a negative behaviour of spending too much time in front of a computer, in the house, or working, to taking time out to be out of the house, out of our normal comfort zones, but is relaxing and non-stressful in any way. We identified a negative, so we introduced a positive to help counter. That is a method replacement.

Sure, everyone loves time out, alone time, relaxation time, etc... but if you are reclusive with it, that is a negative because you are missing life itself.
 
Hello freak of nurture, welcome to the 'club'.
I always considered myself almost 'set up' for PTSD by the events in my childhood, and then went on to work for 20yrs with abused children, a sort of unconscious choice really, and the issues in my childhood were played out on a daily basis. In the end before diagnosis I was bedwetting which continued for 3yrs. Both of my parents are deceased, but my siblings carry the torch for them even now some 30yrs later. It wasn't until we all got together for a birthday of one of us that I saw the dynamics in action, and how closely they mimicked the behaviour of my parents. I have had no contact with them since that day. I don't need/want that kind of treatment from anyone. The issue that bothers me most about all of this, is the minimisation and lack of validation that any of this maltreatment took place.
So, I believe your story and think maybe you should give consideration to low (when you feel well enough) or no contact whatsoever. You need space to heal.
Welcome to a place of acceptance.
 
We identified a negative, so we introduced a positive to help counter. That is a method replacement.
Thank you for your detailed explanation, anthony. I feel I get it now, but I'll have to re-read your post and think things through a bit. My head's spinning atm.

but if you are reclusive with it, that is a negative because you are missing life itself.
I could be cheeky and ask "'Life itself' according to whom?", but I'll refrain and just hint at it. I'm not keen on that discussion. Not now.

EDIT:
The issue that bothers me most about all of this, is the minimisation and lack of validation that any of this maltreatment took place.
Yeah, that's always hard to take. My extended f*mily loves to do that. That and trying to send me on a guilt trip ('Your poor mom is so sad, so so sad!'). Barf, vomit, throw up.
And, as a matter of fact, I have cut ties with my core f*mily. It was liberating and my stress level went down like crazy. Soooo gooood.
 
Yes... Life is what each person defines... More accurately I should say happiness. If you are happy being reclusive, then I guess there is no requirement to change that... Though if going to shops, performing essential tasks that you need to do outside of your house, and those cause angst, then yes, there is still a problem and you only need work on those aspects that cause angst!
 
Hey Freakofnurture, good call on the no contact with your family. It makes no difference what you do because you will get blamed anyway, so it's better to take the road to healing rather than please others and feel worse.
Families can be so damaging, and I have seen enough dysfunctional families for 2 life times through my work. I sometimes daydream about being wanted by my family, but I know it would end in disaster because they would deny my reality and confuse me further about what reality is. I will never be able to go there, which is sad because they are the only family I have as a migrant to another country. Oh well.
Glasgow
 
Though if going to shops, performing essential tasks that you need to do outside of your house, and those cause angst, then yes, there is still a problem
You're right.

I will never be able to go there, which is sad because they are the only family I have as a migrant to another country. Oh well.
Your nick makes me think you're from Scotland. Is that right?
I don't really understand the concept of f*mily. It's people, randomly mixed together without regard for their personality, preferences and interests. One should be able to choose one's f*mily members out of the people one gets to know over the years and socially acceptedly cut ties with genetic relatives one doesn't get along with.
I miss the image I had of my mom. Which is strange because I never liked her, even when I still thought she was great. You know this movie, A.I.? I didn't get it. Not at all.
 
Hi there, yes I am from Scotland but an adopted Australian now.
I think as we get older we surround ourselves with de facto families anyhow. We choose friends on the basis that we can trust them and reciprocate our feelings for each other. For those of us who didn't experience 'normal' family relations those friends are our family and essential to our well being. I couldn't bear to hang out with my 'family', our values and beliefs are so completely opposing.
I guess to some extent we all carry the archetypal image of 'good mother' in our heads. It helps me sometimes to envision that 'good mother' and treat myself how I think I should have been treated as a small child. As little children we had no control and were powerless over our lives, but we can exercise that power as adults and treat ourselves with dignity love and respect because we are worth it - despite experiencing the opposite.
Is the movie Artificial Intelligence? If so, I haven't seen it.
Glasgow
 
I'm still in that stage where you have to accept the fact that you actually deserve to be treated kindly, and overcome that inner resistance that whispers "Oh, so you're pampering yourself? You little wimp! You crybaby! Why, this isn't rainbow pony land you're living in, this is the real world. Things aren't all pink and fluffy here." Self-hatred is a harsh mistress and every time I try to disobey these days, she pulls out her battle axe.

Yes, I mean Artificial Intelligence. Didn't miss much. Jude Law's evil face was totally wasted on this movie.
 
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