Recovering From A Major Surgery, And Some Opiate Withdrawals

[just me here]

I am not sure where to ask this question but I have faith in the mods and hope it will get asked in some appropriate part of the forum if not here. Thanks mods.

I am home from a week in the hospital, most of it spent getting major doses of dilauded for pain. Although I have never bought an illegal pharmaceutical in my life, I have bounced from one prescription to another most of my life and I made a conscious choice to eliminate opiate use ten years back, successfully doing it about 7 years ago. My life was getting better as I regained control over these drugs, but was suddenly changed by a major surgery and what I was told was a necessary use of the heavy pain killer.

My current state is one of daily struggle to remain hopeful and to heal, with horrible dreams and night sweats every time I let my guard down and sleep. The pain is manageable and I have been given a minimum prescription for an opiate based pain killer, I am monitoring myself and my wife is on board with my struggle, keeping me aware of the guidelines for the use of the drug and encouraging my refusal to slip into stockpiling or misuse of the drug.

Has anyone else been down this road? Can you offer up any help seeing the progress instead of feeling the lack? How did you get past this hurdle? What helped to ease the night fears and sweats? Does the horrible feeling of opiate addiction lie in wait for me every time I am administered a drug for the rest of my life? It is a horrible dark hole and I thought I was free of it but I find myself at a new low and not in the best shape to fight this alone. Anyone able to offer guidance? I need some here, I really do.

 

[mamachick]

I am sorry you are going through this. This is a very tough situation because there are times when opiates are necessary, such as now. Im glad your wife is on board. Since the pain is now managable with small dose, I would begin weaning off very soon, give them all to wife to rid of, and use other methods as soon as possible.

I am afraid to say, that once addicted to opiates Im afraid it does lie in wait every time you use. It is like any other addiction. I never goes away and can be managed. If you went to NA before, always a good time to make a phone call and reach out to others who have been there.

Thoughts and prayers to you

 

[franciemarnie]

I was addicted to opiates for years. I finally got off them 11 years ago. I went the route of a 12 step group, with the attitude of I will take what I can use and leave the rest. You don't have to believe anything you don't or do anything you don't want to do. The support was tremendous.

I needed meds again when I had my appendix out 4 years ago. I think the fact that I had gone to meetings for years made a difference when I didn't need them for pain anymore. I threw them out then.

It's always a one day at a time thing. When I am stressed, I try not to think how I will get thru the years ahead assuming present conditions don't change. They always do. Change is the only certainty you might say.

You can do whatever you choose to do. You know the withdrawal only lasts five days. It's nice to have support going thru it and after. It made all the difference for me.

 

[just me here]

The withdrawal only lasts 5 days? If thats a fact I have found my help.

 

[franciemarnie]

Yes, only 5 days, but you will feel like you have one heck of a bad flu. You may expect, but won't necessarily experience, the following: tummy trouble, insomnia, nasal drip, headaches, intense leg pain, and muscle twitches.

It feels pretty awful. Before I did my final withdrawal, I did it maybe 20 times.

It is super easy to relapse during withdrawal because it can feel so bad. What helped me was a willingness to experience the discomfort and pain for those five days.

I have never known anyone to be able to cut back slowly, although that's not to say it can't be done.

During those five days, try to eat right, distract yourself as best you can with whatever really focuses you - movies, music, anything you can think of. If you can do any work outs, that will help. Salt baths help. Drink plenty of fluids.

It can be rough but you can do it and then you are free!!

 

[just me here]

When I posted this I thought my biggest problems were being caused by the opiate and would go away after it was gone from my body a few days. Talking to my T has made me aware of the PTSD side of this.

My early traumas involved serious injuries and the incredibly ill placed religious fervor that my parents attacked me with for being the victim of these injuries. I was swimming and broke my neck on the bottom racing with a friend, and I was in a bad car accident, a victim of a drunk driver. They wanted me to think it was happening to me because I didn't accept Jesus as my lord and saviour. wow.

All that has left me with a very confused body memory that ties serious injury into a knot with religious imagery and mental abuse and the knowledge that my world is upside down with no control and no possible recovery of what came before. All of this comes sweeping in at night when I sleep. The opiates are just a part of this.

So, 5 days to get clear of the drugs but a lifetime of nightmares that the opiates usher in. If there is a hell it waits for people like my stepmother, not us.