Ref Back To Community Team?

[Louise1988]

I have been particularly struggling lately and there has been a significant downturn in my mood, increase in voices, poor sleep, anxiety and suicidal ideation.

I saw my therapist yesterday and my psychiatrist today - both previously scheduled appointments. When I met with my psychiatrist, my therapist had emailed him with concerns about my health and mood.

I have been seeing my psychiatrist for 8 years - so it is fair to say he knows me very well. When I first met with him, I was very chaotic and had lots of admissions over many years. However over the past 3/4 years I have been successfully managing in the community - sometimes with the crisis team but no admissions.

For the past year and a half I have been only seeing my psychiatrist and therapist. This has felt like a recovery of sorts and I have been able to continue to build a shakey identity away from the mental health services - I have been under them for over half of my life.

Today was an appointment like I haven't had for a long time - you know those times when, although you know you are unwell, they think you are worse... before I know it hard hitting meds are being discussed, benefits of admissions (although only as a worse case scenario), risk and then finally - would I accept him referring me back to the community team.

He left the ball in my court and we are about to start a bank holiday weekend so I have until Tuesday. But it has shaken me. My boyfriend didn't know me back then, so it is hard to talk to him about it. The pros and cons - what my psychiatrist is saying - that he feels unable to manage my care atm, what it means for my identity, what it feels like to have that reflected back to me and I haven't spoken to him about being "ill" at the moment...

...but it feels like a massive decision. I would appreciate extra support, but I don't want to get sucked into the services again...

 

[Changing4Best]

Your first sentence I could write for myself, suicidal ideas and all. I have been worried a lot.... so I can feel for you, as I am in this same scenario, but I have not tried to obtain any help other than to see my psychiatrist and my therapist. I did not tell my psych anything about it all, so he does not know. I have not told the therapist about the Suicidal ideation, as it has been only about what I would do IF somthing that has been in the news as a possibility comes about.

Would taking deep breaths help? (I am thinking this for myself too!). How about going out for walks and looking at the beauty of things around you? Would that help? Who do you have that you can call? These are just some ideas. Oh, and grounding techniques, do you know how to do that?

 

[Changing4Best]

Check out this website:

http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/treatinganxiety/2010/09/top-21-anxiety-grounding-techniques/

 

[Louise1988]

Hello @SheilaKathy thank you for replies :) I am so sorry you are feeling this way and thank you for your suggestions - going for walks really helps normally - at the moment things are a little more tricky - but I aim to get out and about this weekend again.

Can I ask why you don't talk to your psych about your feelings atm? How about your therapist?

 

[Changing4Best]

I saw my psych on the 3rd of march, and I am guessing that at that time I was doing better than I have been for the last few days. I fell down and hurt my head a week ago and I have had to see some Drs. since then, so my savings are being eaten up. That always puts a damper on my feelings, as I kind of count upon my savings to get me by in the case of financial emergencies, which I am possibly facing. The possibility of my income going down has me in a tailspin, and my therapist is well aware of all of this, so I guess I didn't not think of telling my psychiatrist.

 

[Sandstone]

@Louise1988 I don't think recovery is a steady upward slope. It has dips and rises, times when we are moving on and times when we are stuck or slip back. It may be that you only need the extra support from the Community Team for a short while, and then are able to move forward as you were.

Being able to recognise that you need help and to ask for it is an enormous skill in itself. I know this because I struggle with it myself.

How helpful have you found the Community Team in the past? How did you know before that it was time to move on from them and how easy was that?

 

[Louise1988]

@stenni thank you for your reply. I think you are right about the asking for help and it can be something that I find very difficult. I made a big effort to talk to my partner and good friend yesterday and although I found it hard, I am relieved to have done it.

I have decided to say yes to the referral. I found it very useful in the past. My big fear about it becoming to absorbing or too much of my identity comes from having been involved in services so much. I often joke that they brought me up! I was seen by CAMHS from the age of 14! I had a good relationship with my last CPN - but it was very difficult ending it - but it was me who instigated moving away from the team before - I guess I just have to have faith in myself!

If I am really fighting this latest period of crisis then I am going to need all the help I can get!!

@SheilaKathy I hope things have got a little easier for you. If you want to chat/vent feel free to PM me.

 

[Sandstone]

That sounds very positive. I hope you can get the same CPN, or one as good. I'm really glad you could talk about it with your partner - how did he respond?