Reframing Fear Of Going To Work

[VioletButterfly]

Hi - Does anyone have any suggestions for reframing thinking in response to being afraid to go back into the workforce? I've had a few bad experiences with supervisors in the past and now I seem to be stumped by my fears of being re-traumatized and abused again by people and their baggage. My latest experience ended last fall; however, I'm still having anger and flashback responses to this position and the supervisor. It's kind of a toxic soup inside of my being that keeps tickling the back of my mental/emotional throat.

I've thought about temping just to get my feet wet and get myself back into the corporate mindset. This won't change the underlying issues, other than financial, but will get dollars coming in the door. Then, I could keep working on the underlying/ongoing trauma-related stuff on my own.

In response to even typing this, I'm having a mental management anxiety attack on top of the practical issues and trauma issues. This has been a problem for several years now due to the intensity of dealing with complex trauma issues on top of having to navigate the world and every day stressors. How does everyone manage this?

Thoughts or suggestions?

Thanks! VB

 

[The Albatross]

Maybe a cost benefit analysis and a risk assessment? Before I knew what either of those even where, I called it the "What do I want more" game. What did I want more (for example) take a risk, get a job and get some money coming in OR keep my status quo and not have money coming in.

When I first started considering going back to work I did volunteer first so I could practice coping and managing the stress and leave if I needed to if it was not the right fit without repercussions.

 

[VioletButterfly]

Thank you for your response. I hear you. You hit me where my logical mind lives. I've done a SWOT assessment on this situation and my life, and my thinking mind is on board. It is my emotional mind that is entrenched in fear and won't budge. It keeps grabbing the steering wheel of my being and derailing me, keeping me trapped in helplessness. You've hit on something though - maybe I need to look at the secondary pay-offs for my emotional self and start challenging them with rational consequences. Maybe I need to break down the SWOT to a simpler C/B and reality check assessment - make it basic as my emotions are much younger and more sensitive than my thinking mind. It's very daunting to be aware of thoughts and feelings, and yet to feel powerless to change them through logic and reason. I'm seeing myself telling me that I need to understand and better know how to deal with my emotional self. How do I talk to my younger/emotional self about this crucial issue? I've got a disconnect on my hands.

In practical terms, temping would serve as a stepping stone, much as volunteering, in terms of determining workability and comfort level. Maybe that should be the first step. As an aside, I took my last position because I was a volunteer with the organization and believed very much in the cause it supported. Unfortunately, life as a volunteer and as an employee turned out to be much different in this instance. I'm hoping for a better outcome.

So I'm back at square one with how to explain microeconomics to a child (my emotions/fears) so that I can understand and accept how important it is to take care of myself instead of looking to others to direct/protect me. Another thought pattern issue I'm unknitting.

I'm going to start working on this, but if anyone has suggestions, please let me know. I'm kind of lost. Tks. VB

 

[garden]

When I first started considering going back to work I did volunteer first so I could practice coping and managing the stress and leave if I needed to if it was not the right fit without repercussions.

I found this strategy to be really helpful in the past. Find a way to get out there to see what you can handle, and to see what coping strategies will help. Volunteering is where I started, and then I worked part time in an on call capacity so that if I was having major issues I could just say that I was unavailable that day. This allowed me to determine what I was capable of managing without the pressures of absolute committment.

I am currently not working outside the home, but in the past this helped.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Maybe part of the problem is working for corporate America? I know I have no desire to work in this sort of arena in my lifetime.

 

[Ronin]

How are you with fellow employees? Is there anyone who wouldn't have the same issue with your supervisor that could speak on your behalf, eventually who you could use as a support for eventual breakdown after while you deal with the supervisor?