LMAO! Oops...haha, I mean...yeah, I was talking about the women, too. :hilarious:
@MrsBeasley86 I'm sorry he wasn't supportive enough. You're better off without him...especially if he was making you feel even worse.;)
:hug:
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Rejection Junction, What's Your Function?
- Post starter Truthful_Whispers
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LMAO! Oops...haha, I mean...yeah, I was talking about the women, too. :hilarious:
@MrsBeasley86 I'm sorry he wasn't supportive enough. You're better off without him...especially if he was making you feel even worse.;)
:hug:
- Post starter
- #14
Truthful_Whispers
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lol Yes. Schoolhouse Rock. Classic :)
MrsBeasley86
Silver Member
Your inbox is full lol I tried to message you
- Post starter
- #16
Truthful_Whispers
Not Active
I fixed it. sorry :)
- Post starter
- #17
Truthful_Whispers
Not Active
Rejection junction, what's your function?
Goin' on bad dates and gettin' dumped..
Dirty but happy, digging and scratching..
Losing your shoe and a button or two..
I'm poor but honest, sad but true..
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-f*cking hoo!
Goin' on bad dates and gettin' dumped..
Dirty but happy, digging and scratching..
Losing your shoe and a button or two..
I'm poor but honest, sad but true..
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-f*cking hoo!
D
Deleted member 29920
How many cats do you have @Whispering_Truth? :)
Don't be so hard on yourself, @Whispering_Truth. :) It may not be all, or even any, about your issues. It may be the other person with the significant issues.
Like others have mentioned, I have been prone to getting into bad relationships. Before treatment, I would simply subsume myself into a relationship at the expense of my own life -- and identity. Often, the women I was with would start to get bored or unhappy, and I'd do anything I could to plead, cajole, and bribe them in order to try to maintain the relationship. Inevitably, though, it would always end, usually with a lot of pain. The women I've dated often have a lot of issues themselves, but my issues play into attracting and dating such women. Bad dynamics. :/
Recently, though, I started dating someone. I really hoped she was different, and, at first, she seemed to be. Unfortunately, it turned-out not to be so. Two days after telling me she "loved me", she suddenly decided she couldn't deal with the custody schedule for my kids and stopped talking to me. Unlike in the past, though, I refused to try to appease her by giving into demands that I considered detrimental to my kids, which is what ostensibly caused the break. And, even if she has a change of heart and wants to restart the relationship, I've decided that I won't do it, because I don't need to deal with that kind of emotional volatility; it never leads to anything positive, and is certainly not healthy to be around. I decided that, after years of simply accepting such treatment, due to my history, I'm not going to anymore. Understanding this has taken a long time and a lot of work. :)
All this is to say that you did what you needed in order to take care of yourself, and assert your needs. That's a mature and healthy thing to do. If a woman can't deal with your boundaries (which I didn't find to be unreasonable at all!), it's either because of simple disagreement or incompatibility, or because she's not mature enough to deal with this. In either case, it may be best to just let the relationship go. Just because you can salvage it doesn't always mean you should. If it's not meeting your needs, if you're having to accept a level of uncomfortable compromise just to keep someone around, it's probably not worth it.
Like others have mentioned, I have been prone to getting into bad relationships. Before treatment, I would simply subsume myself into a relationship at the expense of my own life -- and identity. Often, the women I was with would start to get bored or unhappy, and I'd do anything I could to plead, cajole, and bribe them in order to try to maintain the relationship. Inevitably, though, it would always end, usually with a lot of pain. The women I've dated often have a lot of issues themselves, but my issues play into attracting and dating such women. Bad dynamics. :/
Recently, though, I started dating someone. I really hoped she was different, and, at first, she seemed to be. Unfortunately, it turned-out not to be so. Two days after telling me she "loved me", she suddenly decided she couldn't deal with the custody schedule for my kids and stopped talking to me. Unlike in the past, though, I refused to try to appease her by giving into demands that I considered detrimental to my kids, which is what ostensibly caused the break. And, even if she has a change of heart and wants to restart the relationship, I've decided that I won't do it, because I don't need to deal with that kind of emotional volatility; it never leads to anything positive, and is certainly not healthy to be around. I decided that, after years of simply accepting such treatment, due to my history, I'm not going to anymore. Understanding this has taken a long time and a lot of work. :)
All this is to say that you did what you needed in order to take care of yourself, and assert your needs. That's a mature and healthy thing to do. If a woman can't deal with your boundaries (which I didn't find to be unreasonable at all!), it's either because of simple disagreement or incompatibility, or because she's not mature enough to deal with this. In either case, it may be best to just let the relationship go. Just because you can salvage it doesn't always mean you should. If it's not meeting your needs, if you're having to accept a level of uncomfortable compromise just to keep someone around, it's probably not worth it.
I tried dating a few months ago. My T thought it might be good for me to resocialize or something. That's ended up being an emphatic NOPE. I can't do it.
I've had one friend who's been persistent in his interest. I decided to have a frank discussion with him about where I'm at. I'm not a good bet, don't expect me to text or call more than we already were, I'm not going to be here past my last child's graduation, etc. Oh, and the PTSD of course :cautious:
He said he was ok with that, and appreciated my honesty. We're going shopping Friday for a screen tent to set up a shooting range for another friend as a bday gift.
I'm now terrified that this might be a "date" and that he's not really going to understand I can't give more than I have. I haven't even been able to respond to his last text, I'm so frozen. The weird part is that I'm more afraid of accidentally doing something that will make him feel rejected. That's when I start running for the hills. And why I won't date or get into any relationships.
I've had one friend who's been persistent in his interest. I decided to have a frank discussion with him about where I'm at. I'm not a good bet, don't expect me to text or call more than we already were, I'm not going to be here past my last child's graduation, etc. Oh, and the PTSD of course :cautious:
He said he was ok with that, and appreciated my honesty. We're going shopping Friday for a screen tent to set up a shooting range for another friend as a bday gift.
I'm now terrified that this might be a "date" and that he's not really going to understand I can't give more than I have. I haven't even been able to respond to his last text, I'm so frozen. The weird part is that I'm more afraid of accidentally doing something that will make him feel rejected. That's when I start running for the hills. And why I won't date or get into any relationships.
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