News Religious Debate That Happened On Campus That Triggered Me. They Attacked Ptsd And Rape.

[Nebulustrix]

I think people like this make a habit of frequenting college campuses. I remember a "priest" very similar to him that would stand and proselyte next to our student commons. As far as I knew, none of the students took him seriously, and at the time I didn't know anybody who had been through anything bad enough to trigger a reaction like yours, so we thought little of his rantings. We even made a bit of a joke out of it and started a facebook "fan" club where we listed everything he claimed were reasons everyone around him was going to go to hell.

For example, according to him -

All women are going to hell, because they are daughters of Eve.
Anyone who listens to rap, metal, rock, or country music is going to hell.
Anyone who has had sex is going to hell.
Anyone who has ever sworn is going to hell.
Jews are going to hell.
Buddhists are going to hell.
Mormons are going to hell.
Jehovah's Witness are going to hell.
Anyone who has had anything alcoholic is going to hell.
Members of fraternities/sororities are going to hell.
Anyone who's ever been to the theater / watched a movie from Hollywood is going to hell.
Women who dress immodestly are going to hell.
Anyone who reads media tabloids is going to hell.
Anyone who studies science is going to hell.

And those are just the reasons I can remember off the top of my head. There were tons more. People like this are truly crazy - they've been warped by their religious beliefs and the only reason they go around telling everyone they're going to hell is because they believe God has called them to do so, and if they do not, then they are going to hell.

I'm sorry you were triggered by this interaction - I know what it's like to feel so threatened, and while I didn't understand it at the time I encountered this "priest", I can see how their "preaching" can cause so much harm to those who have suffered or who are easily impressionable. I hope you can recover from your panic attack, and that you have had some great support from those around you.

 

[ashdawn8287]

THank you so much everyone.

You guys are right. F**K THAT GUY! Yes, I am going to do this next week and get him banned from coming back.

My panic attack only lasted about a hour and I went straight to my therapist and psychiatrist. So I am okay.

I HATE when people blame women for being raped. Religious, culturally, or what. I don't tolerate it.

I don't think violence would have solved anything but do you know how good that would have felt if I did hit him?

Also, 2 cops apparently came there later and he toned down so nothing happened. That's what a girl I met there said.

Lots of students were making fun of him-particularly males, but the females were out raged and emotionally disturbed. The males had our backs though.

Thank you so much everyone. Much appreciation.

I got my rage out by driving to my secret spot, blaring music as loud as it could go, and I let out the biggest scream I have ever heard or did before. My throat still hurts from it haha. I wrote a beautiful poem about society at my favorite spot too. I have loads of support over here too.

I got it on video tape on my phone but it won't load on my computer or send in texts. Wish I could post my outburst lol.

<3

 

[ashdawn8287]

Oh, Also I told him if I had a bible I would throw it at him. haha.

 

[radicalgratitude]

Lots of students were making fun of him-particularly males, but the females were out raged and emotionally disturbed. The males had our backs though.

I love this. There's a lot of good men out there. It took me a long time to realize that.

 

[ashdawn8287]

It was nice engaging with the students. Before this semester I kept to myself, because I am almst 10 years older than the typical student lol. I am more open to receiving good things now instead of avoiding everything, if that makes sense.

But yes there are good men out there too!!

 

[radicalgratitude]

That totally makes sense. I read a book about a year ago that said that good boundaries let the good in and keep the bad out. I try to live by that as best as I can.

 

[ButterflyBean]

Ashdawn,

I'm sorry this happened to you too, and I agree with the others that he was way out of line! I'm not sure I would've been able to get up and confront him like that, so good for you!

My panic attack only lasted about a hour and I went straight to my therapist and psychiatrist. So I am okay.

I quoted this because I was just wondering how your therapist handled the situation? Not having the emergency meeting for you, but when you got to her office? Did she help you ground first then ask you what happened? Was she just there to support you, or did she use CBT as well? Did she let you cry or whatever and express your feelings? Basically, how did meeting with her help you calm down?

I ask because I have a hard time reaching out to my therapist when I'm in a crisis, especially when they last a long time (a few days or weeks), and I wanted to see how others handle it. Validation is key for me; I don't like CBT at all anymore!

I'm glad you are feeling better now! Keep up the good work and have a great day! Take care!

~Holly

 

[ashdawn8287]

Thanks Holly.

I have 3 therapists. YWCA therapist from group therapy and individual and there is 2 of them I can go to either for free. They calmed me down, validated my feelings, gave me advice for taking action, and took action as in contacting my university bout this guy. We use a workbook "Healing the trauma of abuse" Step by step guide. Very gentle with great ideas for recovery and educational.

I have an EMDR therapist who is into holistic healing. She has been through trauma also and helps me relax and be able to confront and process trauma.

I have a CBT therapist who only focuses on the present and how to accomplish goals by changing negative thoughts and getting down to the core issues and changing those beliefs.

Hope that helps.

The best things in life are free. Look into non-profit organizations like the YWCA.

It took me a while to open up but I am glad I did, I can speak up and talk about my traumas in class especially philosophy, sociology, and psychology.

People are more supportive and comforting than you think.

 

[ButterflyBean]

Thanks for the reply and for the explanation of the different types of therapy! I understand why you have different people handling different aspects of your treatment because I have more than one therapist as well. However, that is not what I was referring to this time. I wanted to know what this particular therapist did to help you calm down? I guess I should've been more clear as to say not in terms of technique, but in terms of actions.

When I'm upset, I can get very defensive, and I experienced very intense physical reactions. My therapist is aware of this and is very sensitive to my feedback. She wants push me if I don't want to talk about something but she does do her best to validate what I'm feeling. That is what we are struggling with right now; I'm not feeling validated, and I don't know how to better express my feelings without engaging in a negative reaction. I put this in the context of the crisis because I don't know how to maneuver around boundaries during an emergency. For example what constitutes one, and when I should feel comfortable reaching out for help. I just wanted to know how she helped you feel better, and if there were any specific techniques I could discuss with my therapist in terms of handling intense feelings and situations?

I hope this helps clarify my question, even though you may not be able to answer it, and I understand that too. It's something I should post it on the main forum, but I just haven't found the time with school. Have a good night; I'm still thinking of you!

~Holly

 

[ashdawn8287]

Ask about grounding techniques and relaxation techniques. It seems as though you don't feel safe enough to open up. Once you establish safety, it becomes easier. Ask about safety and how you can build it in your life. My CBT therapist taught me about to use my 5 senses in order to ground myself. The more you practice them, the easier it becomes, it takes 21 days to form a habit, habits become a lifestyle. It is all about practice and changing your thoughts.

For example, I did not feel safe in therapy at first. I had all these clouding thoughts and misbeliefs about my world and people because of my past experiences. Slowly I realized my whole life I had been wrong about everything that was instilled and my past and I said F**K the past it will not define me. I realized my past has definitely shaped who I am, but it does not define me. It is a small, very small part of my life. My CBT taught me about this and to build safety and carefully judge present situations so I could develop safety. Not saying my trauma does not matter it is just not logical in the present and I have control to shape my future because of CBT. She does validate my feelings but gets me to change my feelings. She calls my feelings falling back into the victim role and wearing my victim blanket because that was all I know and is a defense mechanism and a fear of internalizing positive things. So when I do feel like that she does reality checks with me, same with my YWCA therapists. It took me 2 years of CBT alone to change everything in my life and do internalization changing. It is a process there is no quick way to heal wounds, especially mind body and heart wounds. Be patient and continue to work on yourself and less on focusing on the past, BUT express your feelings when you feel them, feel them whole heartedly and release them in healthy ways.

Healthy ways I release things is, sketching, music, yoga, mediation, pastels, writing, decorating. Anger I drive in the country and blast music and scream as loud as I can. My CBT therapist tells me to immediately leave situations when bad feelings arise and ground myself and then come back to the situation and handle it after.

At the YWCA the workbook teaches you how to be comfortable with yourself and to empower yourself so you are stronger and more reslilent. For example, I set up a space I call my safety space. Also, I have a spot in nature I go to just to examine the beauty. My fiancée was generous enough to give me my own room. In this room it is set up like an office, library, media room, but just for me. I have positive uotes and frames and pictures all of positive stuff or goals I want to achieve and every morning I log onto my computer and I am surrounded by all this positive stuff. I go through the pictures on the wall and read them to myself.

If they are not validating your feelings maybe you should try to do talk therapy. You do have every right to feel what you are feeling and to go through all those emotions. You need to be able to be allowed to be yourself flaws and all and be okay with that. That is what my CBT therapist has taught me. In order to heal you must feel. You must release it all, but not in your old ways, but in new healthier ways. ASk you therapist about how to release emotions in positive ways.

I started art about a year ago, yoga and meditation 6 months ago, and every day I get better and better at it.

EMDR she teaches me how to be able to talk about the past without having bad feelings. The more you talk about it and ground yourself and develop safety the more you can process things and your past. Try writing your feelings down and reading them to your therapist and ask how you can change those thoughts.

Also, they all taught me how to forgive. I have a workbook for forgivness that I got 2 years ago and I still refer to it. I have read books recommended by them about all the feelings I have associated with my abuses. Guilt, shame, and blame.

Go at your own pace. You are a work in progress.

I have my down days but instead of it lasting a whole month or longer, it last a day or even a few hours.

Also I spent a full week concentrated on my triggers. I wrote down every single trigger I had, changed things I could, and practiced controlling my triggers with grounding and relaxation. I started that in april so when I get triggered I ground myself find my safety and realize those feelings are not reality but from the past.

Does this help?

 

[ashdawn8287]

That day at the YWCA with this post, she just talked to me and validated my feelings and said she would have done the same thing and my feelings were completely normal. I am good at controlling my anxiety too. SHe told me NOT to chase the anxiety and realize what I am feeling is normal.

 

[ashdawn8287]

As far as opening up. Open up, but open up when you feel safe. That's why I think I write first. I write before therapy so the emotions aren't there, the defenses aren't there and then they all help me process it. I find writing it is easier. Write and ust hand it to your therapist. It is hard to find yur voice after trauma, but it is possible. Baby steps my dear.