Reliving Trauma In My Dreams

[soulsearcher]

I am hoping you can help shed some light on this as it is getting worse. For the past couple of weeks I have been reliving a specific day of abuse. The only difference is that I am watching it from up above but can feel everything that is happening to me. I wake up crying, uncontrollable crying. I can't seem to get this one of many days of abuse to stop playing in my dreams.
Has anyone experienced this or have any advise on how to get past this? I am trying my hardest to not let it consume me but each night without sleep or very little is not helping me to continue to cope.

 

[BlueOrange]

Whenever I have a really nasty nightmare, I repeat to myself "Dreams are the way that the brain takes out the garbage, and weakens memories that aren't useful anymore. I'm glad that these memories are getting weaker."

There is some science to back that up (see George Christos, -Memory and Dreams-) and for me, it tends to come true.

 

[GWhizz]

Ditto. I wish I could tell you there was a cure, besides sleeping pills of course. But it's our brains trying to process that particular trauma it seems. I've been having this on and off for a few months now. It's hard to deal with or to switch off and try to fall asleep or to get back to sleep. My nightmares are not just about one trauma though. Sometimes I dream about new things that I cannot be sure whether or not they actually took place. Though I also experience flashbacks of the same things and they feel really vivid and real. Sometimes I feel like I'm watching from the outside, others I'm fully immersed in it. I don't know which is worse.

I'm sorry I don't have any specific advice other than learning calming and coping techniques. I'm working on these in therapy the past while. Though there is no cure that I know of, other than to let it play out. Of course it's really tough just doing that.

Just know you're not alone and it is a normal part of healing from our traumas even if it doesn't seem helpful, it generally happens as your mind now feels safe and able to process what it couldn't handle at the time of the actual incident.

Please reach out to your T also for advice and coping supports if you have them

 

[Momofthree]

I have been there. My T told me that when I start having a recurring dream like that I need to write a different ending to the dream on a piece of paper as soon as I wake up from the dream. Something empowering where you are your own hero. It has always worked to stop my recurring dreams. I keep a notebook and pen by my bed now. I hope this helps you.

 

[arfie]

I went through years of this and it was nasty enough to cause sleep deprivation. I started to have the nightmares while I was awake.

In conjunction with therapy, a dream journal helped me sort it out. I kept the journal next to my bed so that I could start scribbling the minute I woke from the dream. I kept the journal for a goodly while after the nightmares let up. It conditioned me to excellent dream recall and these days I think my dreams are better than premium cable channels...

Gentle support, soulsearcher. Nightmares are no fun...

 

[Friday]

I have different classes of nightmares

- True to life, reliving memories as they happened
- Almost true to life, reliving memories with different emotions or details
- Blatant symbolism
- WTF was that nonsense???
- Sensory dreams (no vision, sound, touch, proprioception, or smell... But taste & pain, for example. Floating in black reliving one or more particular sense. Not fun.)

 

[Hydrotroop91]

Been struggling with mine too. My T said to reread my trauma account from our sessions and deal with the emotions from the day. I tend to avoid these things and it is catching up to me. She said what our brain doesn't process during the day will process it at night. So because I am avoiding dealing with it, it is haunting me in my sleep. She also said not to read it right before bed time or anywhere near my bed. And if I do wake up from a nightmare I should leave the room and write in a journal my thoughts and fears then I should calm myself down completely before returning to my bed. It's been getting slowly better.

 

[soulsearcher]

Thank you all for your replies! I am taking sleeping pills but they don't help the nightmares. I haven't tried a dream journal but I think it's a great idea and I will use. I see my T tomorrow, hopefully I will be able to talk about it without disassociating.
@GWhizz. You talk about coping techniques, can you share with me what they are?

 

[Leigh925]

I have had this same issue. Since I kept having the same dream over and over my therapist told me to think of a new ending that would lead me to a safe place and feeling.

To be honest I didn't really think it would work but I tried it anyway. I came up with a new ending and read it every night before I went to bed. A week went by and nothing happened. Then finally it worked and I have not had that dream since. Now I am better at it and it happens quicker!

I had never had anyone teach me this before and I have suffered from so many violent and graphic nightmares for years so I am grateful that this therapist has helped me with it.

My nightmares have also improved as I have started to give myself a voice and talk about the things I have never had the courage to speak.

 

[GWhizz]

@soulsearcher some examples of coping techniques that help me calm after a nightmare/flashbacks include mindfulness, having a photo album of positive memories/reference points, and of course being able to write or talk about it. I have never heard about writing a new ending - I may try that!