Hi there, after I disclosed to my mother my sexual abuse from my father I've begun to have nightmares with recurring themes. I don't understand and it always frustrates me when I wake up. Sometimes the nightmare will set my whole day up for grouchiness.
Every time I have a nightmare, it's about my father. He's back in the home with my mother, sisters, and I. My step father is present but I can not see him. I feel as anxious and hyper vigilant in my nightmare as when I did when he was actually in the house.
I don't dream about him abusing me, but about why he did it, why can't he just leave already, and trying to explain to him that what he did was wrong.
It always makes me want to pull my hair out when he won't listen, acknowledge what he did or even give me a sorry that he took my father and childhood away from me. I always just want him to leave and I scream at him that nobody wants him here and that we have Erik (my step-dad turned adoptive father). But Erik is never around even though I can feel his presence.
I've only ever had one night terror. He was trying to abuse me again and I ran upstairs, telling my grandmother to call the police. He ran after me and pushed me up against the wall and started choking me. (As a note, he is six foot and 300 pounds and I am only five eleven and was 175 pounds). I managed to get out a question on why and that I was his baby and little girl. He wasn't listening and broke a vase over my head and I woke up screaming, grabbing the sheets.
Out of all my nightmares, the night terror is the only one that makes sense to me. I don't understand why he is just hanging around in my dreams. It's like he never left. Does anyone have any insight or similar experience?
Every time I have a nightmare, it's about my father. He's back in the home with my mother, sisters, and I. My step father is present but I can not see him. I feel as anxious and hyper vigilant in my nightmare as when I did when he was actually in the house.
I don't dream about him abusing me, but about why he did it, why can't he just leave already, and trying to explain to him that what he did was wrong.
It always makes me want to pull my hair out when he won't listen, acknowledge what he did or even give me a sorry that he took my father and childhood away from me. I always just want him to leave and I scream at him that nobody wants him here and that we have Erik (my step-dad turned adoptive father). But Erik is never around even though I can feel his presence.
I've only ever had one night terror. He was trying to abuse me again and I ran upstairs, telling my grandmother to call the police. He ran after me and pushed me up against the wall and started choking me. (As a note, he is six foot and 300 pounds and I am only five eleven and was 175 pounds). I managed to get out a question on why and that I was his baby and little girl. He wasn't listening and broke a vase over my head and I woke up screaming, grabbing the sheets.
Out of all my nightmares, the night terror is the only one that makes sense to me. I don't understand why he is just hanging around in my dreams. It's like he never left. Does anyone have any insight or similar experience?
