Repressing Panic Attacks?

[99Phoenix99]

I understand why I've repressed memories from my past. The things that traumatized me I can only remember in bits and pieces. Which I get.

But I'm really confused right now.

More and more often ( I believe it's because of therapy) I've been triggered into panic attacks. Just two night ago I was curled up into a ball sobbing.

But now I can't even remember WHY I had a panic attack. I can't remember any of my thoughts from that night. I know I had them. I know I was awake all night stuck in myself. I know I was remembering something...

But now it's all gone.

All I know is that I was awake and crying for hours that night. Feeling lower than low. But it's more like a dream recalling that. As if it never even really happened because I have no details to recall. It's a hazy remembrance if that.

At least before if I was triggered I KNEW WHY. I could REMEMBER WHY after and adjust and try to come to terms. Or at least talk about it.

But I'm just... really what the hell?

Ugh. I don't know what to do with myself.

 

[Orglethorp]

(((99Phoenix99)))

I know how that feels. This used to happen to me when I was a kid, before I was diagnosed with PTSD. Many times I didn't even remember that I had had a panic attack the next day. My Mom would always ask the next morning, because she could never get a reason out of my in the moment, and often I didn't even recall it happening. This stopped when I was able to experience whole memories and deal with them for the first time, instead of just getting bits and pieces. I figure it's because if you don't know which memory was triggered, it's hard to remember what the trigger was.

 

[99Phoenix99]

(((99Phoenix99)))

I know how that feels.

This stopped when I was able to experience whole memories and deal with them for the first time, instead of just getting bits and pieces. I figure it's because if you don't know which memory was triggered, it's hard to remember what the trigger was.

Thanks for sharing Orglethorp, it really helps knowing that others have experienced this and that it does end at some point. I'm a very gung ho kind of person, where if there's something wrong I want to fix it. And it's been driving me up a wall not knowing/remembering what my triggers are because I have no where to start.

Again, thank you for sharing. It... it's very relieving to hear that there are other's who've experienced this as well.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Wishing you the best on this one. Is there any way you can journal when this happens to you? I may be showing ignorance here and if so I aplogize. I hope these go away from you soon. Good luck.

 

[99Phoenix99]

I have tried journaling when it happens but it doesn't work very well. My mind goes faster than I can write, one second I'll have the memory and the next I won't. It's ... Exceedingly frusrating.

Thanks for your support Gizmo.