Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

[Deleted member 37085]

Even though I've repeatedly affirmed to you that you "baked" my brain during the exasperating and exacerbating 16 EMDR sessions earlier this year, and consequently, now I am struggling with among myriad of other issues - the daily sometimes minutely minor to moderately heightened sensory problems stemming I believe from you leaving me in front of machine too long and too lengthy of EMDR sessions, THANK YOU!!! for stopping the constant triggers/flashbacks into trauma hell and my past trauma events apocalypse. Thank you...and again thank you.

Also thank you dr. for suffering through the subsequent and now ongoing agonizing weekly sessions in which a.d.h.d. and dyslexia further complicate therapeutic outcome. I'm so struggling to understand the nuances and negative consequences of my mind trying to shut down because of what I'm feeling as a result of how I am feeling!!! God, I hate feeling!!! so because I'm still unable to see fully - all of the distorted feelings thus thinking yet. And I instead because of my blind side into self then begin to project onto others (see what's unhealthy cognitively in others and am unable to fully and completely see what's unhealthy cognitively in myself),and more I am sure will be revealed as I cling onto recovery process (journey) and thank you for not throwing your hands up and saying..."I quit!" Thank you dr. for not giving up on me while I lift the dark veil from my eyes and only try to see myself as others see/describe me, and only those who are trying to help me and not harm me with their insight and intuition about me.

I appreciate you dr. for having the patience of Job in allowing me to learn in my own mind-bending blowing way, at my own pace and that I am indeed beginning to realize that instead of dissociating now in the present - I am projecting my emotional dysregulation onto others (which is progress meaning projecting instead of dissociating) but because I'm still unable to grasp the enormity, complexity, and eccentricities and domino effect consequences of oh God such distorted thinking and remaining dissociated in childhood/adolescence for decades hence then I was unable to assimilate dissociated trauma with mind and body, and now I am seriously struggling to stay present and see my own psychodrama. If this makes any f*cking sense at all. Thank you dr.

And now I'm struggling to remain present, coherent but am becoming defensive and confrontative, and at times even borderline extreme aggressive and trying to remain truthful with myself. I'm trying to slow down the triggered (activating) moment so I can see how I am trying to cope/grasp with my psychodrama from losing decades of time being dissociated and unprocessed trauma left gaps in my psychological, social, verbal skills, and in every way growth. Thank you dr.

 

[Ronin]

To my social worker slash therapist: .... thanks for being there for those months.

 

[ThisLifeIsBeautiful]

to my therapist. You're my hero. I don't know what I would have done without you. Nobody else - no professional or friend - has ever be so real with me and helped me to the degree you have. you are reliable and consistent and you have changed my view of myself adn situations i've been in, in ways I didn't think possible. I owe you my life. You're a rockstar at what you do and I will never be able to repay you.

 

[heythere2017]

"Maybe that's another issue of yours?"
Maybe that's another issue of yours that you don't like me not agreeing with you. Is this what therapist is about, making me feel awful? Making me feel like I've got a billion more issues than I went in with? And everything I said is wrong or another issue of mine?

"Maybe that's your excuse for running away from therapy?" - says a therapist I interviewed for the first time
No, really, the road outside your house is really loud with traffic, and you insist on sitting so far from me mumbling, and I really can't hear you, and neither can you hear me, unless I shout, which is so unnatural. I don't know, the road outside the next therapist's office wasn't loud anymore. Is that another issue of mine?

Another therapist I interview the first time - as I'm telling my story, 5 words in, he cuts me off abruptly and says 'when are you going to stop making excuses and take responsibility. Are you a poor little lost girl?"
Geez, I didn't realise your job was to harass me verbally and make me feel awful. Geez, everyone else has load of people on their side. Yet even my own (possible) therapist wasn't even going to be empathetic and be on my side?

 

[Flip flop]

I have wanted to say, "I see you are putting on your non-emotional therapist face and trying to look nonjudgmental."

 

[Deleted member 37474]

@stp2012 was helping me ground via messenger right before my appointment. We started exchanging toe nail polish pictures. And she said, get a snap of T's toes. I couldn't do it. It was really quite funny, but wow. Your peachy nail polish was adorable with your outfit. You have really good taste in fashion!

 

[Deleted member 37085]

And she said, get a snap of T's toes. I couldn't do it. It was really quite funny

Hoot!

 

[Ronin]

More staring at your number. It makes easier being Calm.

If I give it some more weeks, I might even pass for your normal. Silent but normal.
Grateful I still remember how to forget.

 

[Deleted member 42957]

On a scale of 1 to 10 what are your anxiety levels today?
I can't deal in scales. I'm either scared, petrified or fine!

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Motivation? Why don't you try being me, see how motivated you are after all this!!! :cautious:

 

[Deleted member 37085]

On a scale of 1 to 10 what are your anxiety levels today?

This sounds like a great title for a new thread @Mangochutney; wish you would start same...seems like would be very beneficial to forum members...I think so.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

This sounds like a great title for a new thread @Mangochutney; wish you would sta...

Hummmm a thread called "A scale of 1 - 10" has a good ring to it... personally, I would turn it around and repeat the same question back. "Long day? On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate yourself?".