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Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

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"isn't that your job to tell me?
:D

I saw my T. the other day, and we were talking about heavy stuff. And I disclosed big and dark secrets for him, and even cried a some. (Not for me, since I can't cry for me, yet at least, but for my sister..) And they're was a lot of good stuff in this therapysession, but it was heavy and though. And then at the end, during the last minute he did the strangest thing(I mean after all THAT!):

T: "I wonder.. Do you really want to do this and start to get well and feel better?"
Me: NO. Absolutely not!
T: *looking at me with a strange look and being silent for a moment* What? You don't??
Me: Of course not.

Moment of silence. Him giving me a blank stare.

Me: "Stupid questions get stupid answers."
T: *laughing* "Okay. That's fair."


But now, afterwards, I really have trouble with what he said and it's spinning around in my head non-stop, and I feel angry. What the heck did he mean by that?? And how on earth could he ask me that after all that? And during our last minute of the session?? I could come up with other answers as well:

"NO, I just think it's so much fun discussing seeing my sister being abused and talking about her abuse of me, and I have had the greatest times of my life today! And I just cried of happiness really, since those things makes me so happy!"

Or: "What the f*ck do you mean?? HOW can you ask me that question after all this?? And WHY do you ask me such a strange question?? Can't you see I'm really working my butt of here?? WHY do you think I do that? Because you are so amazing I love coming here so much I invent stuff up just to be able to stay? OR WHAT?
 
Do you really want to do this and start to get well and feel better?"

An old therapist asked me this once. It gave me pause and did not upset me because I really had to think. I've been the way I am for a very long time. This would be a big change and I am not sure how I'll handle it. I'm used to sabotaging myself and ruining my progress. It was a fair question to ask me. It caused me to think of whether I really was ready to go through this. I guess, because of where we were in the discussion, I didn't take it on the offensive. It is an odd question though, but timing is definitely everything.
 
Once one has been conditioned not to say NO! it is awfully hard to learn to say NO! or to teach oneself to do so.

There are always the I SHOULD HAVE SAIDS, in these things, but rarely an I ACTUALLY DID SAY NO! YEAH!
 
It gave me pause and did not upset me because I really had to think.

Your reply made me calm down, thank you for that, and I guess you're right.. But he and I have already talked so much about being willing to go through pain to heal, and the moment to ask that question was odd. I talked to him about it today, and he said he don't know why he asked that, but that he do see that I'm really working my butt off. And he said he has rarely seen someone showing so much eagerness to change and do the hard work. (He has pulled the breaks on me though for two weeks now.. :( ) I said that maybe it was a good question, just that I didn't understand his timing for asking it.. But he said no, he said it was a dumb thing to ask me. And he said it really was fair of me correcting him by giving him a stupid answer.. :confused:
 
I've dissociated a couple times in therapy, and I only ever remember the first few minutes of the usual "hello"s and "how are you"s. Of course, the T says something like "What happened yesterday?" and when I admit that I can't recall what happened they say, "Really? Well you sat there without a word for 45 minutes and ran out the door without a word." It's as if it's never happened to them before, they're so surprised. And then they bring up the topic again.

Hello, did you not understand what happened last time? How the heck do you expect me to make any progress if all I end up doing is sitting in your office with my brain clicked off? Really?
 
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