Three and a half years ago I was told by an intake counselor that she had a duty to report my childhood abuser. *after weeks of not knowing what was happening - it turns out she did not - she was very bad at her job* This definitely messed me up in terms of what little trust and my ability to seek support.
I went to a different counselor at the same place of work to basically report this counselor for how she mishandled the situation. *context* At this point in my life I had never had counseling, I didn't know I had CPTSD, and I didn't understand basic Central Nervous System dysregulation. This new counselor strongly suggested that I confront the other counselor.
She also asked a LOT of unnecessary personal questions about my past and the abuse. I was so triggered in both of the meetings that I just did everything she asked of me while coming in and out of the room (going in and out of trance). I was also flipping between dissociation, yelling at her, joking with her. It was a bizarre time, and my central nervous system was all over the place. I was REALLY dysregulated for a months (maybe a year) following this.
Last year I saw her at Pride and had a flight response. I proceeded to get far too drunk for public. Once I was home and safe I broke down and cried for hours.
Tonight, someone shared a photo of her on facebook and I went into flight accompanied by a crying fit.
She's definitely a trigger for me - I think my childhood abuse got attached to her somehow...?
I'm going back to therapy in a couple of weeks (thank god) but I thought I'd share here to hold me over until I can talk with my T who I haven't seen in a year due to lack of funds.
I went to a different counselor at the same place of work to basically report this counselor for how she mishandled the situation. *context* At this point in my life I had never had counseling, I didn't know I had CPTSD, and I didn't understand basic Central Nervous System dysregulation. This new counselor strongly suggested that I confront the other counselor.
She also asked a LOT of unnecessary personal questions about my past and the abuse. I was so triggered in both of the meetings that I just did everything she asked of me while coming in and out of the room (going in and out of trance). I was also flipping between dissociation, yelling at her, joking with her. It was a bizarre time, and my central nervous system was all over the place. I was REALLY dysregulated for a months (maybe a year) following this.
Last year I saw her at Pride and had a flight response. I proceeded to get far too drunk for public. Once I was home and safe I broke down and cried for hours.
Tonight, someone shared a photo of her on facebook and I went into flight accompanied by a crying fit.
She's definitely a trigger for me - I think my childhood abuse got attached to her somehow...?
I'm going back to therapy in a couple of weeks (thank god) but I thought I'd share here to hold me over until I can talk with my T who I haven't seen in a year due to lack of funds.
