Temporary counselor

[Defaultxlove]

I’ve avoided this for a while I’d like tips from people that have done this before and specifically with multiple different traumas involved

I want to make a small outline about what I will say to them and maybe something to help me stay focused that this is not my primary trauma therapist.

My brain is mush but I need to call them asap which creates more pressure.

I’ve grown kinda cranky since my recent hospital experience also and don’t wanna be rude to someone that definitely can help me

Make sense?

 

[arfie]

i am a child sex trafficking survivor. multiple trauma personified. . . i seldom know which psycho snot knot is from which trauma, nor do i invest much worry over defining the source in great detail.

in my own psychotherapy, i have seldom used my lists of things i want to cover in session, but making those lists has helped tremendously in helping me understand and/or de-tangle my own symptoms. i always carried the lists to my formal sessions to prompt my memory through the awkward silences, but i seldom used them even for that. the cognitive link of having written them out goes a long way toward strengthening my recall.

 

[Defaultxlove]

Thanks @arfie. I filled out the form for them to contact me . The realest heaviest pit in my stomach. I’m gonna try to rest.

 

[sidptitala]

I've had a lot of temporary counsellors at this stage. Journalling before and after each session really helps me to figure out what I'm looking for and how to get it from the person, or how to get something from them I can use. Sometimes it depends on the qualities of the counsellor also (some have more empathy than others, some know more about ptsd or dissociation) so it's been kind of a balance of what do I really need at this moment in time? plus, what is this counsellor capable of giving? It can sometimes take a few sessions to figure this out. But I figure there is always something they can give me that I can benefit from.

I also understand that explaining multiple traumas with new and temporary people can feel like so much explaining for little reward sometimes. I think I'm going to try and give new people copies of my medical paperwork to cut short some of that context (which can take a very long time to explain verbally).

 

[Defaultxlove]

Thank you @sidptitala !

 

[Tinyflame]

Perhaps @Defaultxlove if you are recovering from a hospital experience to just take it slowly (first-things-first)? I think most of us would say we secretly or not so secretly we want to be done with all of it and 'cured', me anyway! The goals can be bigger than we can manage in one bite or step.

Not very helpful I know. At first temporary can seem too big a hill to climb for me, who could repeat 'stuff'? But I think now I realize even truthfully leaving that out of it, people are not the same, mindsets or words are not the same. Sometimes there is something to be gleaned. But mostly I've found though, in all areas of life, people can't be replaced by people, it's more a question of 'what' replaces 'who'. So it can be therapeutic of sorts to focus on getting your grounding, or getting your health more intact, or doing things not trauma-related. Perhaps digging too deep atm doesn't have to be the goal? To use instead what you already know or have been taught and keep practicing that? To be grateful if you have had a great T and keep trying to recall and do what made the positive difference when you had regular therapy. And perhaps someone temporary can help you get grounded and more stable? Or to manage the day-to-day stressors?(Not that I mean you are not stable!)

Hugs and good luck to you. (Disregard if not helpful!)

 

[Friday]

I’ve avoided this for a while I’d like tips from people that have done this before and specifically with multiple different traumas involved

I want to make a small outline about what I will say to them and maybe something to help me stay focused that this is not my primary trauma therapist.

My brain is mush but I need to call them asap which creates more pressure.

I’ve grown kinda cranky since my recent hospital experience also and don’t wanna be rude to someone that definitely can help me

Make sense?

It took me a couple of years to be able to do a rough outline/timeline of my TYPES of traumas (to this day, I often “just” cut paste that list… and even then? It’s missing stuff).

That’s useful, once I’ve already decided TO work with someone.

When I’m interviewing?

I look for people with a LOT of experience in my “hard” &/or “defining” traumas, that’s their durn specialty, more often than not… but??? I “just” talk about a history of “complex trauma” as I’m setting up the interview/interviewing. I dont go into detail. Unless they make it eeeeasy to go into detail. Which drop kicks them onto my short list.

^^^ The small outline of what to say to them? YOU are interviewing THEM for a job. Not pleading to take you on. Are they someone with experience? In what’s relevant to you? (Hopefully you vetted them, but many/most people pad their resume, so directly questioning them on their experience is usually necessary). Once that box is ticked it’s pure personality & skill that needs evaluation.

* In my house we define “rude” as attacking someone without touching someone. (Words, manner, tone, etc.). And it has the same rules as attacking someone physically. IE when is it okay? When you’re defending yourself, defending someone else, or learning how to fight. Can you attack someone on accident? Certainly. And that’s your bad. But FEAR? Is not rude. (Including fear of being rude). It’s FEAR. which lashes out blindly. Both physically. And rudely. It’s the fear that causes the rudeness. If you’re afraid of being rude? You ARE being rude. Rude is an attack. Do it on purpose. Not on accident.

 

[RainbowSearchParty]

With temporary situations, I’ve done a few things: with one therapist, I dove into the trauma and it was the worst thing I could do because it was just so upsetting when it ended. With another temporary one, I started by stating that I didn’t want to go into trauma. That was just focus on everyday support, grounding, all the things that help me deal. That was much better, at least for me, because it set me up to be able to find a more permanent solution.