Welcome to the forum?
I'm sorry for what you have gone through! I can't even come close to imagining how it must have felt after your brain surgery...but I can relate to the fear of another surgery.
Personally, I frequently have cognitive thought distortions. ("I'm ugly, terrible, don't deserve to be happy, I am not necessary...") I have been known to come up with my own "narratives" about situations that are WAY off base. But they feel real to me at the time. My first response when I realize what has happened, is to try to "disappear", by isolating, disassociating and sometimes self harming.
I respect the fact that you have come back, to learn more, and find support. I know that the vast majority of people here are genuine and caring. We've all been through hell and back, repeatedly, but we get back up and continue our journey.
I'm thankful for the people here who have become dear to my heart. (Most of them probably don't even realize who they are...)
I hope your seizures subside on their own or can be medicated! That's a whole layer of panicky feelings of its own!
Be kind to yourself and do the best you can with every new day. (I'm telling myself this too... I'm a terrible example if I'm honest)
Blessings of peace and clarity being sent your way... From me to you.????