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Romantic relationship problems

jiayuan

New Here
Last night when I was enthusiastically talking about how happy I would be if I got retired and went back to countryside, my boyfriend suddenly got some emotions. He said,"You always say you will go back to countryside, but whom will I live with if you go?" And I realized that I have never put him in my life plan from a long life-time view, that is why he felt disappointed. He grew up in cities, and he never likes taking a step on slurry or road without asphalt. On the contrary, I grew up in small villages, I got used to insects, plants and any natural things in farmyard.

However, I know that the different attitudes toward countryside is not the main reason, deep inside, I never truly believe that he will stay with me forever. I never believe that anyone will try not to abandon me. Yes, he is my angel, I can say that the best thing happened to me is his advent, but I just can't throw way the idea that "I don't deserve love, no one will love me forever, no one can depend on." That is why I always ask him, "My dear, are you real? Aren't you a fantasy that I coined in my mind to sweep away the desperately abandoned loneliness?" After so many times asking, he just felt more ridiculous," When won't you ask me this stupid question?"

I truly don't know how long I will live with him. I haven't got the intelligence. But now, I love him, I love him because I want him by my side, I want to see him whenever I come home, I love the kisses and hugs we share with each other.
 
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Perhaps try talking with him to find a compromise you would both adore? (Rather than a compromise both would be unhappy with. WinWin, rather than LoseLose.)

Like living in a small village on a commuter train line to the city for easy access? Or living in the city buying/leasing a holiday cabin/chalet in the country, for weekends & best seasons?

You don’t have to envision him in your life forever, to include him in your plans for now.
 
Perhaps try talking with him to find a compromise you would both adore? (Rather than a compromise both would be unhappy with. WinWin, rather than LoseLose.)

Like living in a small village on a commuter train line to the city for easy access? Or living in the city buying/leasing a holiday cabin/chalet in the country, for weekends & best seasons?

You don’t have to envision him in your life forever, to include him in your plans for now.
We had talked about finding a town which is near to both big cities and countryside. Or just to find a house with a garden when we retire.
 
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