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Rope End, Separation.

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Mr Man

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I’m quiet isolated with my PSTD currently. So any advice/views would be greafully received and treated with a bid disclaimer. It would be reassuring to benefit from the kindness of strangers right now.

Quick back history – I have developmental PTSD (C-PTSD), which came from fairly heavy abuse as a child. It went undiagnosed until 3 years ago,

The good news is now I’ve had CBT I’m getting better. The bad news is my wife of 17 years just has had too much. She says it’s like having an extra child, as normally I would take the lead on stressful things, and organising, my wife resents having to do that when I’m ill. Her point is I’ve been ill all the time I’ve know her and when I was triggered badly 3 years ago, it was the worst its ever been. I also was talking incessantly about the years of abuse, which is the main stress for her, that and the fact I withdraw to my room and am not “emotional available” for the kids.

My point is that the NHS was unable to diagnose and hence treat me until recently. Now they are, I’m getting better. Her point is – all people with mental health say that. She says she still loves me, acknowledges neither of us have done anything particularly wrong, is boils down to the fact she can’t take the stress of my PTSD symptoms.

So my question to you is, when you got diagnosed and got treatment, did you PTSD get worse or better ? If better, how can I convey this to my doubting wife ? Any tips on how best to play this. She wants space currently, but I’m being pressured left right and centre to make decision for the next 5 years, I run a business. So I’m currently hedging my bets, but that’s stressful. I do feel at a rope end, and my normal coping mechanism is to have a plan, not got one currently.
 
Have you spoken to your therapist about your wife's reaction to your current state? My PTSD got immeasurably worse at first, but the good thing was that I finally realized what was going on. What the flashbacks were, why the wild swings in emotion.

By and large I have left most of the people I knew behind. They had a really hard time keeping up with the changes. PTSD therapy changes a person. We start to find healthier relationships. And it is sad at the time but once out of it and moving forward, it makes life much easier to have healthy people surrounding us.
 
Very sorry that it came to that with you and yeah, we can wear out the people who love us/our support.
I didn't think of it as the "end of something" per se, but I did see it as a pivotal moment.
 
Thanks for the warming words, I like your positive take. Reminds me of how I used to be, and will be again.
 
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