Running Away...

[LiketheMouse]

Does anyone else have fantasies of just running away from your life? I go through phases where I become so overwhelmed that I literally want to run away. I'm an adult, relatively happily married, but yet when things get really rough, I want to run away like a teenager.

I don't know if this is symptomatic of C-PTSD or if it's just me.

 

[Friday]

Not really fantasies... I've done it many times. I have to work really hard not to do it, actually.

 

[Muted]

Your not alone @LiketheMouse. I don't know why, but I feel like that too when I get overwhelmed. It's like I just want to escape it all...

 

[ladee]

Almost every day. I am stuck because of finances But would love to pack the car and just drive away.
Just to see new things. Meet new people.
I don't feel I would be running FROM anything, but TOWARD something new.

 

[cptsdsurvivor]

Yes every day I have these thoughts ..and I have actually done it several times in my life. I have to struggle not to do it again too.

 

[Arebas]

I walk past a hotel on my way back from work everyday and I always have to fight the impulse to get in, get a room and become someone else for the weekend. I never do it because I feel that's dangerous for me. I might not remember who I was before.

 

[Ronin]

Not fantasies; actions and plans and half developed plans & plans yet to develop.

Fueled by a need for safety & creating it off at least something I understand. Give me a survival situation over civilization bullshit any day, I calm down.

& Ditto to fugue states when I arrive at that, but heck, it's leading-to-peace fugue states. If I'm busy running and creating? I'm busy living.

 

[SpaceCadet]

Yes! I have to rationalise with myself on a daily basis to prevent myself from going. I think because I was controlled/ had my privacy invaded a lot as a kid and had no way of escaping. I always dreamed of running away (and did so several times with my polka-dot mickey mouse backpack, containing nothing but my teddy bear) as a child and still constantly have plans to escape whatever life I'm living.

 

[Jordash]

I've been running my entire life. Been homeless for almost 4 years. Now I'm thinking of running away from therapy because I've created this bound with my therapist that's way too intense for me.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I run away too. Not since my son was born. He is my connection to life.

 

[ladee]

Now might be the time to stop running.

Sounds like you trust your T and have invested in yourself for healing.

Possibly just commit to one session at a time and see what happens.

I call this 'picking my pain'.
Possibly you are working toward a healing breakthru.
And that can be very frieghtening. But having to start over is scary too.

Hang in there for one session at a time. And I hope you share this urge to run with your T. They will be able to help you thru to the other side.
Gentle hugs if you accept.

 

[Naoru]

It is what I do best. Plus side: I get to see the world. Down side: I miss a lot of real life. In fact, I asked T last week how long is morally and legally acceptable to run away in my current situation. Last time was not long enough, but she was not having it. ;)

I agree with @ladee. Perhaps it is time to talk to your t about this urge to run and he / she can help you figure out the underlying cause and how to face it safely.