Running Towards Triggers

[Spero3]

I sometimes think my body (or brain, or both) is an adrenaline junky. I have had adrenaline coursing through my veins almost constantly for 45 years. I don't think my body knows how else to be, so sometimes I almost think I look for something to give me an adrenaline rush, usually latching onto some random thought or idea that causes me anger and fear. I run scenarios over and over in my head about situations - usually around someone who has made me mad - and it is a constant fight to short-circuit the thoughts.

Spero

 

[drgnfl2078]

I can completely understand that!! Mine usually isn't so much surrounded around anger as it is more getting myself into trouble. Thankfully...I have a temper but it is put out as fast as it comes on. I just don't do well with bordum...its like your just waiting around to die or something to happen.

 

[ruffdeal]

Everyone's edge is different.The edge is different from the fence that people speak of. ("I'm sitting on the fence" or "you can't sit on the fence.Make a decision.") The edge is so far on the other side of the fence that people can barely see you while there standing at the fence looking for you and when they do catch a glimpse they feel fear of you or for you or both.

I grew up there and spent half of my life there without ever choosing to but i don't live there anymore.It's not about adrenaline if you spend every moment there and you don't even feel any kind of rush because it's just normal.no matter what it is that cause's that adrenaline rush today will not last long and you will need more or different.life on the edge can't be maintained.

small dose's of adrenaline in life can and be very healthy and fun.(amusement parks,hiking up a mountain,sports,ect..)

 

[freakofnurture]

Just yesterday I was very much upset, trigger-angry and fed up. I cried in degrading ways. And then I wrote nearly a whole page for my book, which is more than I manage to do in an average month. It's not an autobiography or anything along those lines and the scene I worked on has nothing at all to do with my current situation, so... I have no idea.

Eh... basically I just want to tell you: There was the edge and I rode it, and now I'm exhausted but happy. It's like, at least it payed off that I felt so shitty.

Now I'm tempted to provoke instances like this one. I mean, most of my energy is stored in the form of age old anger, deep down in my guts, waiting to be tapped into... Maybe it would work. That would make me very happy. I can't stand this constant waiting around for a naturally occurring high to get things done.