My mother recently has been cleverly trying to manipulate me, guilt trip me, and control me.
She succeeded with me and got and invitation, from me, over today. Much sooner than I really feel good about. However, though she hadn't been invited to spend the night, she showed up with her overnight bags.
The positive: twice today I took amazing approaches to her and things. I was able to end the 'gloom & doom' conversation she started 5 min. into her visit here, the monologue that includes all the very sad, and depressing drama in the lives of family members who I love and yet I am completely powerless to help. And, they're not helping themselves. With some quick and intuitive thought I got us seated in front of a movie, that we were both interested in.
Also, very positive.....after supper tonight I quietly sat down at the kitchen table and spoke honestly and openly with her about tonight not being the night to sleep over, and rather than grin and bear it as I generally would do and feel powerless and helpless to help or protect myself for fear of crossing her, I just did it despite the fear.
Without going into detail there was even more said, positive, as I didn't regress into childlike fears, and the hopeful mood that I was in this morning, hasn't been claimed and squashed.
Awesome. She's out of this house tonight and we can feel relaxed and safe. ...:thumbs-up ...