Saying No To Good Things

[Chava]

The guy who wanted to meet about artwork respected my decline and said he hopes we can work together in the future (just got that message). Maybe we will, maybe not, but that did feel helpful to hear. I think the timing was not good for me this week...saying no to two things I really wished I could have said yes to, especially when I was aware of needing something positive and also already feeling trapped. So it sort of created a flood of greater hopelessness...just the combination of everything. But a friend reminded me too that people will still like my artwork later. I can still play short gigs like weddings and such, so always say yes to them. I just miss the big orchestra experience, but I can't do the long rehearsals...so also a process of grieving this loss (I had to quit an orchestra last year after many years because my shoulder wasn't healing...I simply can't do it, like some people can't jump four feet high).

 

[bell]

It's fine if you don't like what I wrote. However, I was going off what I wrote vs. what I know about you otherwise..

Life can be well lived in moderation, and when I see can't, can't, can't without a can anywhere in sight, that usually is a tip off that there is more to play than meets the eye.

Also, adjunct positions are famous for sucking people's energy dry due to overwork and underpayment. That on top of a regular job is tough going.

As for fun, life should have a measure of fun in it. You deserve to have a life with fun in it, too.