Scared About Dr Appointment Today

[bittersweet]

I feel such a jumble of emotions right now. I feel like such a coward and vulnerable. I just got back to find out I have 2 deformed patellas and splintering of my bone inside my knee cap from all the wear. The Dr said we will try physical therapy but doubts it will work and that we should discuss surgery options. It was bad enough my Dr was male but everyone at that office was as well. Including nurses. When they handed me one of those gowns I immediately started to spiral out of control of my own mind and body. I felt so vulnerable and even more fear than I started out with. I started crying inside the office and to top it off, my husband text to ask how it went and when I told him everything his response was "SMH" (shake my head). Now add anger into my basket of emotions because he thinks I should be over all of the trauma since I got on medication and got help. I just wanna lock myself in a room right now...

 

[Jacquie]

Stay angry for a while. Its ok. (((hug))) And SMH doesnt always mean you did something wrong. Just that something didnt go as planned. But thats life right? The good, the bad and the totally f***d up ;)

Re kneecaps. If its splintering physio might just be a psychological warm up (or painful) but ultimately if you want your knees to work right, it will probably be surgery. Thank goodness they have done so many of them now its really simple surgery. And after a recovery period you get your legs back! (insert YAY) :barefoot: Ok those are feet but they're attached to the legs and knees you cant see ;)

Now you got a job to do right? You've identified the problem. So now you need to start asking who is an orthopaedic surgeon, good with a knife, who is FEMALE. Like you said there wont be heaps, but there will be some. And while you're at it, tell them you want a female anaesthetist as well.

If one or the other isnt possible, then you TELL them how YOU want this to go, and what people you need in there and how it would be ok for you.

Then look forward to being able to whoop butt when you got your legs back :) xx

 

[Srain]

I HATE those paper things and often where things I just refuse to take off ;), easy enough to probe through if they must...honestly...how much do they need to touch anyway! I have never been in an all male office, I would have freaked too, so you are most certainly entitled to that one!

I don't know about the knees, I would do my homework on it and always double check these things out. I am with Jacquie on this, remember you are in charge of who does what and if you aren't comfortable, step back and regroup to make a decision.

Take good care, you did great to get through this! :tup:
peace and strength,
Rain

 

[Zipperhead]

Sorry I missed your post yesterday. Best Doctor I ever had was a woman. If they care, it doesn't seem to matter about whether they are guy or girl. Just take the pain away.

 

[Oberons Wife]

Are you able to request a female chaperone from the hospital staff? This is an acceptable (approaching being considered normal, amazing eh?) where I live. The cynical me might think it's to protect the Docs from being sued, so they have a witness. But it does work for me. Even when you're not having to remove your clothes at all, it's worth a request. I've never had my request refused yet.
I waited for over a year going through the British NHS to get therapy as I insisted on a female practitioner. The staff member I made the request to obviously thought I was being difficult, but I know I am simply not able to behave in the same way to a man.
As a teenager my mother took me to the Doctor to arrange an abortion. He (elderly man) examined me with my mother waiting in the room next door. Stripped down to my pants he stood fully dressed infront of me fondling my breasts and pushing his penis against me. The abortion was arranged. Lying flat on my back waiting to be anaethatised, a female nurse said she didn't see why they should have to help out ' f*cking slags' like me. I remained silent tears pouring down my cheeks. I had never had a lover. Only abuse. So I'm not saying you'll be 'safe' with a female worker, but for me, seeing a man is definitely more stressful.

 

[bittersweet]

Thank you for your kind words and keeping me in your thoughts everyone. It really has helped to ground me. I am still overly stressed and anxious about this but I'm hoping I can collect myself enough to calmly work this out. My husband and I got into a huge argument last night because I said I refused to do the surgery. To be honest I still am not going to go through with it until it can go 100% my way on it. I need a female staff or if at all possible to have my husband there to watch the procedure from another room or something. I cannot trust anyone male especially if I am knocked out. My husband doesn't seem to understand that. He thinks that since I've been on medication that I should be fine now and that these things shouldn't bother me anymore. I want to feel better but if I have to have an all male staff then I'd rather live with the pain. They have medication to fix the pain but the mental and emotional pain I will be putting myself through doesn't seem justifiable. Maybe it's my panic making me think and say the things I do but as of right now I can't budge on it.

 

[amethist]

Hi bittersweet

You are entitled to have a female present for any medical appointments if you wish. You can even take a female friend who you trust with you, they cannot refuse.

Put your foot down insist that this happens in any way you have to. If they then refuse your request, go else where if possible.

It is your right for to do this, where ever you are in the world.

Amethist

 

[bittersweet]

Thank you amethist. I didn't know you could do this. I haven't had to go to a hospital in years or even a doctor for that matter. It gives me a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully this can help me make the correct decision on what I need to do