Supporter Scared And Unsure

[redsandy]

Thank you @BlueOrange I know I should leave him be. I'm really struggling with his dia...

You're UK
Great - me too
Call save our soldiers
X

 

[SherryAnn]

P

Thank you @BlueOrange I know I should leave him be. I'm really struggling with his dia...

Probably they will tell you.Good luck.x

 

[Merf]

Thanks @redsandy I hope your partner gets the help he needs. It can be very a scary time and is a relief when they finally seek help, but I am only just realising it is still going to be a long road yet. Calling an ambulance and the police seems so drastic?? Do I really need to go down that route? I appreciate all advice but that now fighters me further.....

 

[Merf]

@SherryAnn and all of you, thank you. It looks like I need to be brave and take the drastic measure. I'm not sure I have it in me to do that but I will try if that is what is needed

 

[redsandy]

Thanks @redsandy I hope your partner gets the help he needs. It can be very a scary ti...

I read he had locked himself in the kitchen, and has made threats to hurt himself
He has other illnesses on top of ptsd
You said you were scared
How scared?
You said you are unsure if you're enabling his behaviour
Sorry, but if you're scared, and he's making threats of harm - are you really going to let him get on with it?
Are you actually scared,,, or are you afraid to do something about it?
X

 

[BlueOrange]

Before this he was working on his anger and need to control or manipulate situations/people, it was really helping and he was so open. But an anniversary triggered him and I've just watched him fade away and be replaced with this angry shouty person.

That sucks. As a person who isn't naturally good at handling grief (13 years of therapy have helped, I hope), I look at the losses that supporters experience, and I wonder why they put up with us sufferers. The angry shouty person will stay in charge of his body until he stops being scared. To the extent that there's something you can do, I recommend keeping the environment as safe and quiet as possible, and then wait. The trick is to entice him into coming back, as opposed to going to him and trying to bring him back - I hope that makes sense.

 

[Suzetig]

You said that you're frightened, that he's threatening himself and you, that he's threatened and attempted suicide before. I'd be calling the police or an ambulance - if your partner is a danger to himself or others he's needs more support than you can offer him at home.

 

[EveHarrington]

Won't respond to you again. Didn't realize you only wanted certain kinds of input.

 

[Merf]

@redsandy sorry, that should have read he has made threats in the past to harm himself. He went and sat in the kitchen when I tried to talk to him and he refused to come out. I am both scared of what may happen and scared about what I need to do, so do pardon me for my uncertainty at this time, this is all very new for me and feels like it is escalating at a fearsome rate.

@BlueOrange thank you for sharing your incite, that does sound familiar to me. Normally I can 'entice' him back by reminding him I love him and that he isn't alone in this. Gentle touch and tone usually would get him back and us moving forward, I suspect this is part of the reason he has physically shut himself away from me now. If I had ever left him to it in the past his stubborn nature would have dragged these periods on for weeks. I have left him alone for a couple of hours and shall go to work myself soon. I'm just frightfully worried because this all feels so new and usually I know what to do

 

[Merf]

@EveHarrington I'm not sure what that means. Did my post read like I did not appreciate your advice because I reaffirmed that I trusted he had been honest with his GP? I appreciate anyone and everyone's perspective on a topic that is so new to me.....

 

[Merf]

@Suzetig my post should of read he previously has made threats to harm, I think in my rambling I was referring to how things could go based on a couple of previous occasions, sorry. But you're right, I cannot support him at home by myself

 

[Suzetig]

It might help to think about what feels different this time to other times when he's been struggling. You said you can usually calm him but that doesn't seem to be working this time. If you can identify for yourself what the difference is it might help you figure what support you need.

It may be worth talking to his GP, they won't share anything with you but knowing your concerned will help their assessment. And yes if it's a practice with a number of doctors the receptionist should direct you to the one that's overseeing his treatment. It would also be worth talking to your own GP so that someone knows what you're coping with and can offer support?