I've found tons of people who either have no problem with/ like it/ or love it. Not talking the sadistic assholes who like to see others in pain, just talking about those for whom it's something that happens to either gel with what they need/want in a partner or doesn't conflict with what they need/want in a partner.
It's part of the reason why I'm not dating, right now.
I dated during my first PTSD tailspin without a second thought. This is who I am. Nope. This is how I sometimes am.
There are blokes out there (& women) who are the perfect partner for someone who is f*cked up all the time. Not because they're using them, or want to keep them f*cked up, or anything sinister. There are those assholes, too... But trying to keep the scope purely in people you'd actually want in your life/want to date ;). I've dated a few of these people, and my uncle was one. Broken winged birds. :) No one was better with broken winged birds than my uncle. And all but one of his ex-wives? (There were a lot!) Remained good friends/ tight with him/ tight with my extended family. If any of them had stayed broken, they'd probably still be my aunt instead of auntie (aunts are by blood or marriage, aunties by love & friendship). But what they need/wanted in a partner was different when they were well, just like what my uncle need/wanted in a partner was different. No animus. Just facts. What we need and what we want in the people around us? Changes based on a whole lot of factors.
Right now? I'm f*cked up all the time. I don't wanna fall in love with someone like my uncle -or some exBoyfriends-, nor have them fall in love with me while I'm like this. Because, from experience, if I can get through this period? I'm only gonna be f*cked up some of the time. :p
I want to be with someone who is okay when I'm f*cked up, and okay when I'm kicking ass and taking names.
Those people exist, too. Just like people exist who in no way, shape, or form handle PTSD.
Dating right now would be a risk for me... Because 2 of those groups can handle when I'm f*cked up, but only one of those groups can make the transition with me to being okay. And IME, there's no way to know which is which. Until you do it.
LMAO...Granted, the risk is still there once I'm better, too. Of dating someone who is in no way, shape, or form okay with my being f*cked up from time to time. For me, that's easier to spot, and tends to "tell" fairly early on in a relationship. But it's still just personal preference, both ways.
