Scared The Sh#t Out Of Me

[Jade-]

I had a couple of things happen that have scared the total shit out of me.

I was driving my husband to the mall. I was feeling fine, in a good mood, etc. I suddenly felt overwhelmed and it was like I became this lost, confused, scared little girl that didn't know how to drive. I couldn't find the mall and was freaking out and ready to cry. I had no clue where I was. But the mall was right across the street from where I was! Then I couldn't figure out how to get across the street and hubby had to help me. He was pissed and said "WTF is wrong with you, you've been to the mall a million times" (which he apologized for later). I don't know what was wrong with me, I don't know what happened. Now I feel scared to drive because I'm afraid it will happen again. I don't know if it was a flashback, dissociation or if I'm losing it. Hubby seems pretty concerned about it, and so am I. I have to drive because I work and now I'm scared to.

The other thing that happened was I was lying in bed tring to go to sleep. I heard a gunshot that sounded and seemed so real it shook my whole body. I instantly got ringing in my ears and started shaking. It took awhile to calm myself back down and when I started to doze off, it happened again. Can flashbacks be auditory like that? I have never had that happen before and it has really, really scared the shit out of me. Now I'm afraid to sleep because I'm afraid it will happen again.

I just need some reassurance. I'm going to be a total mess if I don't drive or sleep. Please, if anyone has experienced anything similar, tell me about it.

 

[Jade-]

Anything? Even if you think I've lost my mind, at least tell me.

 

[Iam]

Hey there Jade. I can imagine how scared it must make you.
Take some deep breaths, maybe listen to some soothing music, think about a happy place. It will help calm you down. Then you will be able to think more clearly.

I am not sure about the auditory flashbacks, but that seems to make sense. Try to think back to while you were driving to the mall or maybe shortly before you left. Was there something that triggered you?

When is your next session? I can't remember but they are on Weds right? If it is that far out maybe you should call your T.

You need to get proper sleep in order to think clearly. Mine suggested Valarian Root. I've seen it posted here several times as well. He said 1,000 mg of C for stress, All One buy Nutratech, magnesium and calcium. Oh he also suggested taking Melatonin at night to help sleep better. I know that I am feeling calmer today and it's onloy been 48 hours since I started taking the supplements.

You are going to be ok. You've suffered from dissociation and flashbacks before and made it thru. You will this time too. I promise. Email me if you need to talk more Ok? I am here for you.

((HUGS))
Lauren

 

[Jade-]

Thanks Iam. I am calm now, other than being afraid to drive or sleep.

I just want to make sure I'm not totally losing it. I don't think I was triggered before going to the mall or while I was driving. It was just a bizarre experience that has left me questioning my sanity.

And I'm hoping someone can tell me if a person can have auditory flashbacks, cause If that's not what that was when I heard the gunshots, then something is very wrong with me.

 

[Iam]

Ok, so I did some research online about auditory flashbacks and apparently it is common and can be experienced as hearing the sounds in your head or outside of yourself, close or far away. It also talked about what you feel after experiencing that type of flashback and it sounds like you are right there. So you are not going crazy. I will email you the link OK?

 

[intothelight]

Hi Jade,

I have had both experiences. I heard my ex, right next to me say my name. No one was there. I wasn't sure if I was just having a nightmare or not, but it has happened more than once. Also, when you said you were overwhelmed and then got lost, I've had the same thing happen. It's happened when driving, shopping, going to doctors appointments, etc. Mainly it happens when I am somewhere that is not part of my daily routine. I'm glad your husband was with you. I pretty much don't go anywhere without someone.

Don't wait to get help with this. I didn't deal with it right away and now my world is very small. I haven't been to the grocery in six months.

ITL

 

[Jade-]

Iam, Thanks for emailing the link. Interesting info on there. I'm happy to know I'm not losing it.

ITL, it was more than just being overwhelmed and then getting lost. I didn't know who or where I was. It wasn't panic or anxiety, it was more like I truly was about 7 or 8 years old. I don't want to resort to not going anywhere without someone with me. I'd rather take my chances of getting in a wreck...you only die once anyway.

I'm glad to hear that you have heard things too. I've never experienced something that real that wasn't real before.

 

[Iam]

I'm glad it helped Jade ;o) I do think that you need to bring it up with your T. Like Light said, you don't want it to get to the point where you start limiting where you can go and what you can do. I know for me, knowing that something I am experiencing is "normal" (ugghhh how can that sound right?) for ptsders gives me some comfort. Still, that only means that we need to work on it.

I have had a few flashbacks where I physically felt what happened and it scared the hell out of me. Even though they were split second flashes they were very upsetting. I can only imagine one that lasts longer. I have had a few auditory ones too but don't have any idea why or what triggers them.

I am glad that you are doing as well as you are. YOU are a FIGHTER (in the positive sense lol) that is for sure!

 

[intothelight]

Hi Jade,

Sorry I misunderstood what you were trying to convey from your first post. I don't know what would cause that unless it was a some type of major flashback.

ITL

 

[Jade-]

I don't know what it was either, but it scared me enough that i'm terrified it will happen again.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi jadebear,

I think that happens to me under extreme stress, plus the presence of certain triggers perhaps-(?). I'm starting to think it's symptomatic of really constricted thinking, but as to why you (or I) feel like a child I don't know, except to guess it's because as a child you don't 'know' or have the capacity to know the answers to what you need at the moment, either.

 

[Cynthiatoo]

Hi Jadebear
I dont know if this is offering an overly simplistic possibility, but I have noticed that I behave completely differently when driving depending on whether my husband is in the car with me or not. He is a great guy and I am not nervous around him, but for some reason having a passenger makes me unable to simply drive somewhere so I start 'thinking' about the route I am going to take and where to turn etc. and before i know it, I am feeling lost and unsure of where to go and want to give up.

It has made me feel inadequate and incompetent when it has happened to me.

I happily drive all over the place by myself without planning anything ( must be a leftbrain rightbrain thing). Anyhoo, is it possible that because we all take responsibility so seriously that you felt a strong need to get there the most efficient way and this triggered something? Guys do tend to like to plan their driving route and perhaps you subconsciously felt that.

Driving also creates an overload of visual and auditory stimulus and even smells. Were you well-hydrated. Had you eaten. Had you had more coffee than usual.

Go make your car more comfy to get into next time and this might make you feel better a little and not fear you next trip so much. It may well be something much more, but it cant hurt to consider these very simple possibilities.