School = Anxiety = Wanting To Cut = Can't = More Anxiety

[shinigami109]

Hey, so I've never done the whole forum thing so bear with me OK?

After what happened, I started cutting and quickly got addicted to it and kept self-harming for 5 years, up until this past...March, I think it was. I've had little moments of weakness where I want to hurt, but it's always been weak enough that I can easily beat it back. Unfortunately, I'm not exactly the most confident person and the last couple years especially, I've been having some anxiety problems in regards to school. It used to be that if I was feeling horribly anxious, I could just cut, get a bit of a high and use that to help me get through it. Since I've now stopped the whole cutting thing, I can't exactly use that method any more. With school starting soon, I can already feel the anxiety creeping higher and higher, which makes me want to cut, and the fact that I can't do that makes me even more anxious, which makes me want to cut more, etc.

Unfortunately, I haven't told my parents (who I live with) what happened and what I'm going through, and the worst of these anxiety moments happen in the dead of night when everyone who does know is asleep. Does anyone have suggestions to possibly help with this? I can't go see a counsellor again until school starts, which is part of the problem.

 

[Maggiemay]

*Big hugs*

I know that feeling all too well. Distraction techniques can help, telling yourself you'll do it in an hour; watching telly; do something that occupies yoyr hands e.g. crafting - anything that works for you.

I'm not sure where you're from, but could you talk to your doctor. Here in the UK there's lots of charities too that offer counselling, especially for young people. It's important you have someone to talk to.

Xxx

 

[shinigami109]

I'm from Canada and have been kinda avoiding the dr. partially cus his office is too far away for me to get on my own (still working on the whole drivers license thing) and partially cus he's a family friend and while i know the whole dr. patient confidentiality thing exists, i'm still slightly paranoid and terrified about my parents finding out.

i took up knitting a while ago and it helps, i'm just worried about how it will be when school actually starts...i'm not usually this bad off until the end of the year

 

[Maggiemay]

*Hugs*

Just take each day as it comes, try not to think too far ahead. X

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Can you call a hotline?

 

[shinigami109]

Honestly I don't know any