Fool me twice
New Here
In retrospect, now is too soon for me to date. But I began dating a guy who seemed great in November. A week ago, I had to break it off because I knew, deep down, I wasn't ready.
Then the bombshell: I'll preface this by saying he knows What I've been through, knows I'm coping with PTSD and he, in no way, meant to tell me this. As he's leaving after my cutting it off, he made an off-handed comment about a woman he's mentioned 3 times. This woman WAS a red flag, and each time, in non-accusatory fashion, I asked him what was going on (long story, but I smelled a rat). This time, however, he spilled more than he meant to. He didn't cheat, but now I know he went out with me to get over the woman he is in love with.
I'm having a hard time containing myself. For example, why am I destroyed by this when I'm the one who wanted out? And how could he take the trust of a victim and abuse that?
How do I get on? I recognize the amount of anger projected at him is scary, it scares me. But why can't I just say, "he sucks" and get on? It's like I'm obsessed with getting a sincere admission of fault. I'm confused why any decent person would toy with the trust of someone who has been traumatized, told them about it, meanwhile knowing I'm trying to get better (therapy).
Any laments or suggestions are appreciated. And yes, I know to just drop it, BUT I CAN'T! I wish so bad I could. I feel ashamed and crazy.
Then the bombshell: I'll preface this by saying he knows What I've been through, knows I'm coping with PTSD and he, in no way, meant to tell me this. As he's leaving after my cutting it off, he made an off-handed comment about a woman he's mentioned 3 times. This woman WAS a red flag, and each time, in non-accusatory fashion, I asked him what was going on (long story, but I smelled a rat). This time, however, he spilled more than he meant to. He didn't cheat, but now I know he went out with me to get over the woman he is in love with.
I'm having a hard time containing myself. For example, why am I destroyed by this when I'm the one who wanted out? And how could he take the trust of a victim and abuse that?
How do I get on? I recognize the amount of anger projected at him is scary, it scares me. But why can't I just say, "he sucks" and get on? It's like I'm obsessed with getting a sincere admission of fault. I'm confused why any decent person would toy with the trust of someone who has been traumatized, told them about it, meanwhile knowing I'm trying to get better (therapy).
Any laments or suggestions are appreciated. And yes, I know to just drop it, BUT I CAN'T! I wish so bad I could. I feel ashamed and crazy.
