I have found myself in life asking/begging for validation of the weirdest stuff(my behaviors/feelings) The weirder it is the tougher time I have validating.
My weird is normal to most. I get mostly the validation one would expect. Somehow this "weird" is me looking for something else.
Most recent story but still struggling to figure out what I was looking for. I got divorced about 5 years ago. I kept house and nieghbors. Soon after I got a dog. Nieghbors loved dog. Nieghbors respected me. Which I presume I reciprocated. I have to be gone for 12 hrs a day for work. I always made sure my dog was taken care of. Sometimes nieghbors would be my help. A couple years later I built a fence. I asked all nieghbors to help me know how my dog behaved while I was gone. No complaints. I then gathered feedback about getting a companion dog. No reservations before and no complaints after.
Then after 4 years of 1 dog and a year of a second I get a new nieghbor. Older retired couple, home all day. Moved from Arizona to podunk Illinois because they didn't get along with people.
Soon they were canvassing nieghborhood trying to complain about my dogs. In fact I believe they may have 1 or 2 legit for themselves with my dogs. However the nieghborhood had 0. The rest of niegjborhood has dogs/kids/loud trucks.
When I heard of the canvassing of nieghborhood I approached and asked about issues they may have. I was hit with a bombardment of complaints they thought other nieghbors should have. I tried to singe down to just thier complaints. I even offered to hire a person (couple hundred bucks a month) to let my dogs out for a half hour at a time my fenced in dogs wouldn't inconvenience them.
Answer. You should not have those kinda dogs in this nieghborhood. I can see through your nice guy appearances.
*This is important part to me. Not the behavior/breed of my dogs. Not a grumpy old man.
I went back and recanvassed my own nieborhhood. I found myself asking everyone within 3 houses if my dogs bothered them. If my dogs intimidated them. If my nice guy personality intimidated them.
I got all the answers I was "searching" for on surface but I still am not sure what I was asking.
However in time frame I couldn't stop asking nieghbors and since then I have been still asking myself.
Why did I risk my relationship with nieghbors by asking such uncomfortable questions? Why couldn't I stop? Why did I recieve nothing but positive feedback and still feel invalidated?
My weird is normal to most. I get mostly the validation one would expect. Somehow this "weird" is me looking for something else.
Most recent story but still struggling to figure out what I was looking for. I got divorced about 5 years ago. I kept house and nieghbors. Soon after I got a dog. Nieghbors loved dog. Nieghbors respected me. Which I presume I reciprocated. I have to be gone for 12 hrs a day for work. I always made sure my dog was taken care of. Sometimes nieghbors would be my help. A couple years later I built a fence. I asked all nieghbors to help me know how my dog behaved while I was gone. No complaints. I then gathered feedback about getting a companion dog. No reservations before and no complaints after.
Then after 4 years of 1 dog and a year of a second I get a new nieghbor. Older retired couple, home all day. Moved from Arizona to podunk Illinois because they didn't get along with people.
Soon they were canvassing nieghborhood trying to complain about my dogs. In fact I believe they may have 1 or 2 legit for themselves with my dogs. However the nieghborhood had 0. The rest of niegjborhood has dogs/kids/loud trucks.
When I heard of the canvassing of nieghborhood I approached and asked about issues they may have. I was hit with a bombardment of complaints they thought other nieghbors should have. I tried to singe down to just thier complaints. I even offered to hire a person (couple hundred bucks a month) to let my dogs out for a half hour at a time my fenced in dogs wouldn't inconvenience them.
Answer. You should not have those kinda dogs in this nieghborhood. I can see through your nice guy appearances.
*This is important part to me. Not the behavior/breed of my dogs. Not a grumpy old man.
I went back and recanvassed my own nieborhhood. I found myself asking everyone within 3 houses if my dogs bothered them. If my dogs intimidated them. If my nice guy personality intimidated them.
I got all the answers I was "searching" for on surface but I still am not sure what I was asking.
However in time frame I couldn't stop asking nieghbors and since then I have been still asking myself.
Why did I risk my relationship with nieghbors by asking such uncomfortable questions? Why couldn't I stop? Why did I recieve nothing but positive feedback and still feel invalidated?