Self defense/triggered

[Daph]

I did some processing of one my calls with the T recently that cause me to freak out when trapped/distressed/on guard. It involved an assault where I am upset with myself because I couldn't/ failed to protect myself as I got trapped... hence I try to keep activities/errands during times when less people to help with not feeling crowded and to get in and out fast.

So I had been eyeing an kickboxing self defense class that I thought would helpful with the exercise as well as Might build some confidence, help sleep etc. The place was pretty much empty when I did the circuit and it would be a different atmosphere versus my scene being at the gym.

OMG! It totally set me off...I keep trying some calming techniques along with medication. I know some PTSD patients, via my T, have to monitor heart rate during exercise as reaching a certain HR will set/trigger them...
I don't wear a fitness tracker. I am too cheap to buy one....

Has anyone ever experienced this? Or have been triggered by exercise for self defense as it reminds you of the event?

 

[Mach123]

Even though I became fairly good at jiu-jitsu, I was defensive in my style and had a great deal of difficulty mounting an offense. My coach had PTSD (this was before I knew I did) I go to him wanting to improve but he'd say I had a mental block. I put in plenty of time on the mat and I was in shape. I knew I wouldn't let myself. With my level of training (I don't do it anymore because of my arthritis), I should feel self confident and like I could defend myself but I don't. I don't think any amount of physical training could accomplish that because such a large percentage of success in that kind of thing is mental.

 

[Daph]

Yeah, I definitely understand mental blocks and wondered about that myself. I had hoped it would work itself out once I developed more strength and skill.
I could not stand a gym where people were running around the track by the equip- scared the crap out of me. The sound of the footsteps got me.
Work is even doing more intervention defence training where I heard you take a partner, I was nervous with that. For instance, I picked a place where it involves bags and equip, not competition with people.
But I guess, I just didn’t expect such a strong reaction and that the endorphins would help.

 

[solar]

Are you saying just being there in that environment made you uncomfortable? Or was it the exercise? I'm really not understanding your train of thought.
I have agoraphobia and if I don't feel safe in an environment I will have a panic attack regardless of what I'm doing. Maybe you have some secondary anxiety going on?

 

[Daph]

Are you saying just being there in that environment made you uncomfortable? Or was it the exercise? I'm r...

I want to say the exercise because the place was empty other than 2 ppl. And I have had no issue cycling if not many people or one that catch me off guard. Plus, I had decent view all around me at this place. The self defence stuff is new and i wanted to do to feel protected. But it hit close to home in some areas of my PTSD.

 

[Daph]

Okay tried it again. :whistling:
A lot more of a positive response this time. Still I notice something/ symptoms but not as strong as first time.
Maybe it helped too that it was the same people I ran into there....

I have to do some coping mechanisms after.

I am glad I gave it another go is all I can say! I hope I can work through it and learn from what I feel during this type of activity may be better way to put it.
Not saying it will totally fix the mind block and make me feel safe or prepared. But it is start I hope.

I know it won’t be easy and reactions may still be different every time.

Thanks @Mach123 @solar :tup: