Self-hate

[MagiLisu]

Since about the age of 13 I have had periods of self hate on and off. When it's there it is so intense. The thought of spending the rest of my life like this is horrible, I just hope it gets easier.

 

[safenow]

Anyone got some good strategies in not feeling bad about yourself?

Find out what your inner-child is needing and why they are feeling that way. They know what you need to do. Use more positive affirmations. Do things that you know are going to make you feel good about yourself. Be kind to that inner-child. They (you) went through a lot, and you deserve to be loved and nurtured.

Be good to you, and take good care of you. Good luck

safenow

 

[safenow]

he thought of spending the rest of my life like this is horrible, I just hope it gets easier.

It does, magil.isu. Do you have a therapist who can help you with this? If not, until you get one, read some of the threads here and see how the rest of us are working this issue. We are more than happy to give you clues that can help.

 

[MagiLisu]

Yes, I have a therapist and I have discussed this with them. My therapist is very helpful and after I see them I am on a high but it never lasts. I usually see my therapist every other week but it's been 3 weeks now and I am struggling.

 

[safenow]

If you allow me, I'm send you a butterfly kiss and a safe, gentle hug. In case, you have never been kissed by a butterfly before, they flutter their wings on your cheek or other exposed areas of the body. It's their way of letting you know they care.

(((( Magil.isu ))))

I am struggling.

We are here for you.

 

[MagiLisu]

Thank you Safenow, I am glad I found this forum.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I'm sorry other people feel this way. It is a horrible way to live. I feel like I am trapped forever in a cage that no one can truly understand (except people here who understand all too well). There is no way out, the key has been thrown away, and so have my choices. I'm living the beginning of the nightmare which scares me the most.

I have not an ounce of encouragement or hope in me at the moment...I hope this moment passes....

 

[safenow]

I hope this moment passes....

It will. I have been where you are so many times. You have to have a little bit of trust that it will pass. There is a way out. The key may have been tossed into the trash, but it can be found. if I may, I would like to make a suggestion.

Take a sheet of paper and write down the things that are the most troubling to you right this moment. Once you have done this, I want you to write what would happen if you faced them and worked on eliminating them? Then, read this thing that Anthony wrote on depression and anxiety and fill it out.

You can do this. It really works well. I applied this just day before yesterday. (Or was it yesterday?) anyway, the point is, it really helped a lot.

Good luck. (((( Angelkeeper ))))

"Anxiety is treated and removed by changing your cognitive thinking, just as is depression. Same process, they are simply on the extreme spectrum's of one another, thus the application is mirrored.

If you really want to treat and remove anxiety, this is how it's done.

1. Write down the thought you have.
   1. Provide evidence to support your thought
   2. Provide evidence against your thought
2. Does an alternative explanation exist outside of the above?
3. What's the worse that could happen?
4. What's the best that could happen?
5. What is the most realistic outcome?
6. How is this thought effecting me?
7. What could be the effect if I change my thinking?
8. What should I do about this then?
9. What would I tell x if they where in the same situation?

 

[therapybankrupt]

Sending you gentle hugs Angelkeeper if you will accept them.

This to shall pass. I think when I first understood my diagnosis I had those same type of feelings. But the more I learned that could be done and about the tools available I began to find that hope. I got a trauma therapist that does the EMDR and Inner child work. Its a process but I do have hope. Hang in there.

If you can concentrate try reading the Wiki here on the forum. Lots of good tools. If not find something you find soothing to do. I use guided meditation on You Tube. They have a 500 positive affirmations one and I love hearing those nice things being said about me.

TB

 

[Abstract]

Try to get in touch with the inner child and get to the root of the hate

I think this may be one of the answers so thank you. Only trouble is if I even think of it I am even more overwhelmed by self hatred and I hope this isn't triggering but I want to destroy or hurt that inner me.

.I hope this moment passes....

I hope so too Angelkeeper. Sending you support. Sorry that you deal with this.

 

[therapybankrupt]

I think this may be one of the answers so thank you. Only trouble is if I even think of it I am even more overwhelmed by self hatred.

The wanting to hurt your inner child is fragmenting you. (Not in an alter way) It keeps you separated from all parts of you.

This is causing the pain. I understand hating that little child but to bring your mind together to function the way it was meant to you have to Parent and nurture the inner child. I started with a teddy bear.

The child needs love for it wasn't her fault what has happened to you. She has been actually holding that pain for you all this time (This statement was life changing for me). When the child or children become accessible you will know. For example I am pulled towards children's things (It always puts a smile on my face) when I am shopping and have to parent not buying the child the toy all the time. I also began to remember good things about my childhood that I thought were lost at this time. This is true inner child work progress. I was seeing my T for help with this. She was thrilled with how well I was doing with it all.

Do some coloring and let the inner help. Do things that kids do or find a kid to do things with. Its fun and light hearted work. Listen, Listen and Listen some more.

I have learned to love them. My hurt fragments that are now my inner children. Part of me. I try to consider the hurt I will do by talking negatively about myself or not taking care of my needs. It hurts my inners. This process has helped automatically with having better boundaries. They are now quiet most the time but I check in and ask what is needed when I am not feeling well. I listen and life has become more manageable.

Tb

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Thanks, Everyone! I am 'stuck' with flashbacks of 7 weeks ago when my father died of a heart attack. I stayed with him until it was obvious that chest compressions were not going to work. I've seen death before, but seeing them trying to save my dad while I was there and watching, are engraved in my heart and soul. I know in time it will get easier, I just have to wait for it. Watching my daughter was horrible, but expected. This???? Unbelievable.

All of this on top of a lifetime of self-hate feels just too hard.

I appreciate everyone's good thoughts.