Self injury or passive compulsion?

[KwanYingirl]

I'm going to ask for advice here instead of talking to my therapist about it because as far as I can tell, he is not compulsive.

I have resorted to SI since my teen years. Cutting, extreme nail biting, drug and alcohol abuse, more cutting, tattooing, starvation, and this weird thing I'm addicted to:

The skin on my feet is really dry and calloused. I am constantly peeling the rough skin off just my right heel. So much so that it bleeds. I can't stop.

I have until December to get over this compulsion because my son is getting married on the beach somewhere in the Caribbean. I hide my feet at yoga. It looks awful. I have a germ phobia and am wary of getting pedicures. I want to heal this poor foot so I can be on the beach barefoot with polish on my toenails.

Help! Advice! Insight! Thank you.

 

[The Albatross]

Appropriate hydration, foot soaks, coconut oil or shea butter (I use 100% not the junk that claims to contain it)... apply at night and wear 100% cotton socks to keep the feet warm... when the wounds have closed. If you have opens/wounds... take precautions to avoid staph infections first.

No advice to avoid the compulsion though. Except being open to the idea that opening wounds on your feet could set you up for infections like MRSA or staph.

 

[StellaBlue]

It probably won't help the compulsion to pick at your feet, but you might consider seeing a podiatrist and getting medication to help your feet heal. You wouldn't have to tell him what's going on with the peeling (I'm guessing a lot of people do it - my mother used to sit and pick at her callouses while we were watching tv - I'm wondering if that's why I'm really grossed out by feet :)).

The suggestions by @The Albatross are great - maybe put those in place and then talk to your counselor about some tricks for keeping your hands away from your feet? Maybe find a substitute behavior or something along the lines of distress tolerance?

I do get it though...I have many of the same "SI" that you do...for picking, though, it's bug bites. I work in medical research and I actually had one of my colleagues (a doctor) grab my hand when I was picking at one. Totally freaked me out.

 

[shrinkingviolet]

I pick at my lower lip, to the point I bleed. Sometimes it's because I am in deep thought or other times it's due to stress. I don't do it all the time, but often enough. I think it is compulsion, but I am certainly no expert.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I hadn't thought of MRSA. Yikes

 

[Samantha_38]

I have used SI since I was very young as well. I don't the thing with my feet, but I bite the inside of my cheeks and bite my lips like crazy. I currently have sores all over the inside of my cheeks. To the point of bleeding. That in addition to a lot of things. The biting I don't even realize I'm doing anymore though, it just happens.

Besides the ideas already posted I just wanted to say that once you get your feet healed continuing to use moisturizers and keeping your feet in good condition might help you not pick. If there's no dry skin to pick at in the first place then maybe it'd be less of a compulsion. I wouldn't recommend doing this now while they're sore but there's also some sort of foot rinse that has Listerine mouth wash in it. You can make it all at home. I don't remember the exact combination of things but I'm sure you can find it on the internet. I've heard people swear by it for taking off all the dead skin.

 

[The Albatross]

When I had foot cracking from wearing wet shoes and socks (was the "shower queen" for 6 months as a CNA for a long term care facility 11 showers a 7 1/2 hour shift 4 days of 5 a week in a so called "trial by fire" when newly employed... an RN tipped me to lotramin (spelling?) cream to get my feet closed. Clean and dry is the hard and fast rule til wounds are closed. Other than a pumice stone in the bath ever day or so... pedicures aren't especially helpful as they stimulate the newer skin to grow more... however conversely, they do have a light acid application to break down callouses but no more than one a month.

Hydration though ... non caffeinated, preferably water... is a must as drying skin is a sign of chronic dehydration.

 

[The Albatross]

I hadn't thought of MRSA. Yikes

Yuppers... it's in the dirt as well as possibly on your skin ... any opens on your feet and you've got an open port for transmission.

 

[The Albatross]

If you go for Lotramin (spelling) use cream only and rub it all the way in... NEVER ointments. Ointments are petroleum based and create warm wet places for bacteria and bad stuff to grow. Dyes too... particularly black in socks sometimes blue can cause infection.

Alcohol (like Listerine) is a drying agent and not advised. Friction, soap and water to remove the bacteria, pat dry, apply cream put on socks. As you see results if you want you can invest in a hot wax machine, I have one that I use for arthritis. The wax contains mineral oil... it does increase circulation and promote moisturizing and healing... but again... not advised until your wounds are closed.

 

[shimmerz]

Organic Apple Cider Vinegar - rub it on the feet (full strength if you can tolerate) or foot bath of 50 ACV and H20. Allow to dry for 20 minutes, put on coconut oil - put on socks.

 

[The Albatross]

Mild acidity and a mild antibacterial... good post shimmerz.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Thanks ladies. I did the Listerine soak my feet turned blue and it did nothing after three days of soaks. I'll get some coconut oil and Shea butter. I've been using Gramp Lyfords salve but it has urea in it which I react to. Best for me to stay with all natural ingredients,

I gotta shake this compulsion. If I get pedicures maybe it will be an incentive. Or I'll gift myself an Alex and Ani wrap or two or three!!! I love their bracelets.