Self therapy can only go wrong?

[TraumaticHealing]

Hi,

my therapist (which I fired) says that self-therapy like self-emdr and trauma release excercise can only go wrong and can result in anxiety or depression.

She warned me so many times that eventually her prophecy came out: I got scared of something (memory or made up stuff) and was thinking: "Is this what she warned for? I shouldn't go in there, put it away etc" and try to suppress it, resulting in heavy anxiety.

But my self-therapy went great before that event. Problem with the therapist is that self-therapy is not open for debate, the progression I have made, the results... The only way to get better is her way, and only hers. That's why I fired her. But I am left with anxiety, and what to do.

In 5 weeks I get enrolled in a special program for childhood sexual abuse victims, I am not looking forward to spend those 5 weeks in anxiety tbh, but I don't dare to start up my self therapy again to get rid of the anxiety.

Now I walk with the dog through the woods every day for 1-2 hours, it helps a bit, temporarily. I write too. But those two aren't nearly as powerful as TRE and self-emdr.

Thoughts are appreciated :)

 

[EveHarrington]

IMHO self therapy for processing is a no-go because processing involves interactive/dynamic feedback from a therapist who knows how to guide you through the process.

I also think that maybe you’re a bit misguided in thinking that any therapy will get rid of your anxiety. Most likely, it won’t. Therapy gives us the tools to deal with our anxiety.

If your therapist was truly saying “it’s my way or the highway” then I don’t think she was a good therapist. But was that what she was saying, or was she just against self therapy for processing? (In which case, I’d agree with her!)

I do self-therapy for IFST, but that’s a very different kind of thing. It doesn’t involve any kind of trauma processing. It’s more/less a feelings management therapy.

Hugs.

 

[Suzetig]

There are loads of ways to self manage anxiety and really any T would help you do that - not so much through self EMDR or TRE but through breathing exercises to regulate your system, mindfulness to help manage racing thoughts etc.

The danger with any therapy (including what you describe as self therapy) is that you go too quickly and retraumatise yourself causing a spike in symptoms. Part of working with a T is about pacing the work at a rate you can tolerate, part is about “being seen” by your T, being accepted by them in the midst of stuff you may feel shameful about etc.

Not everyone needs therapy to heal but if you’re actively trying to process trauma, doing that in the presence and with the support of someone else would likely help. In the meantime, have a look at anxiety management techniques online to help cope with your feelings for now.

Btw I’d have fired your T too.

 

[Sideways]

There’s loads of therapy approaches that are reasonably safe to do at home on your own. Walking for example? Is a therapy technique, and one of the most effective for managing mental illness at that, so that’s a fantastic start.

As well as the examples above, cbt is typically one that can, with practice and patience, help with the relief of anxiety. Helps to have someone to check in with to see if you’re on the right track or help with any points you get stuck on. But there’s quite a few online cbt resources available at your fingertips.

Truth is, different people find that there’s a whole range of different types of approaches that work best for them individually. This 5 week course? Sounds intense, but a great opportunity. Your approach to focus on symptom management, and tools to aid that, in the meantime? Sounds smart. Means that you’re setting yourself up to be in the best possible headspace to take on the course amd make the most of the 5 weeks.

Not everyone on this forum has access to trauma therapy, for a variety of reasons. You won’t be alone if you decide that for now? You want to keep it self-guided. Ultimately? You may find that having a T there for support and guidance is helpful, but don’t by any means feel that going it alone is destined for disaster. Some therapy techniques like emdr? Are safest done with a trained specialist who can keep the process safe, and make sure it doesn’t send your symptoms into uncontrollable overdrive. But there’s plenty of other alternatives around:)

 

[Freida]

I think of my T as my tour guide. She walks with me until I get lost, then gets me reoriented and back on the path. If I was doing it alone I think I would have a harder time getting back on track.

 

[anthony]

I did my own, kind of therapy, in a way. I learnt to understand what was wrong from what a therapist learns. That took a lot of reading, a lot of bouncing questions off of those who did understand (psychiatrist / psychologist) and basically did things myself to get to where I am today -- a much better version of myself than the vastly broken PTSD in full flight version.

I did not do self EMDR though. I did semi-self PE, combined with involving others (public and professional friends) to their view, opinions, so forth. I took what I found resonated best for me and then ventured down certain routes applicable.

I'm not an advocate to administer complicated self techniques, however, I think you very much can heal your own trauma and PTSD by education, a lot of doing, a lot of pushing yourself and then self assessment. Not everyone has the capacity for those things -- we aren't all wired to fix ourselves. So for those, therapy is essential.

There isn't a right or wrong. Maybe there are pro's and con's to what course you take, but hey, you only learn by doing usually, to find what will and will not work for you uniquely.

I'm a big advocate for people to fix themselves, but trauma is complicated, and for that you need to bounce thoughts and ideas around to get outside perspective. That very thing is why this forum exists. I think a single therapist is limited by nature of individualism as to how much they can help you. Groups are usually best. The bigger the group, the better. The broader the feedback to provoke you, to provoke your mind into thinking outside its limited focus, usually the better IMHO.

EMDR is a pretty powerful type of therapy that can, and has, gone pear shaped quickly for lonevity health of those taking such course. Being flooded is a super high risk, yet it is a risk with all self help. You have to constantly measure your SUDS level, know when to calm, when to attack, repeat and rinse. Something more along the lines of PE, writing out your trauma, you control by how much you write based on how much effect you endure from remembering the trauma to write it out. Then read, rewrite, adding missing pieces, rinse, repeat.

 

[MyWillow]

For me, personally, I think that on top of the risk of being retraumatized comes another issue - relational trauma requires a healing relationship. Therein lies the therapeutic relationship for me - healthy boundaries, acceptance, patience...

 

[Finchlet2]

I'm just about to start group sessions similar to your five week intensive but only on Tuesdays and for time. Mostly I just feel relieved, I've been carrying on making progress being strong not breaking down for the sake of my hubby and kids as it both angers and distresses them, I think I might just end up breaking down first session, just not having the way my distress effects my loved ones to worry about I just hope it's a group where its OK not to be OK you know?

 

[ladee]

I was in and out of therapy for maybe 10 years. Got the basics down. Shared the really hard stuff, as I did not trust myself enough yet to do that part alone. But have been doing it myself for the past twenty years. Read everything I could find, took what applied, pushed thru a lot, finally got on meds, which helped my thinking process, and eventually found this forum.

Peer support here has helped me a lot with management of symptoms, awareness on another level. A deeper self honesty. Because the people here understand.

I would have left that T also. Even in therapy, I could tell when the T was pushing their agenda, which did nothing to help me with the issues at hand.. It's about having common sense. The times when we know we need input from others, support, challenges if I'm stuck. Nothing wrong with healing on our own... but also being open to having some one , groups, what ever, to bounce our stuff off of sometimes... education !!! Which I did even while in therapy.

I would never try EMDR with out help. That is the one thing I would do myself more harm than good. Wishing you success...

 

[TraumaticHealing]

Thank you all for your thoughts. I just had today the finalizing discussion (the last talk) and now we where able to discuss these things. In the past few weeks I made clear I didn't like how she 'counselled' me.

From the beginning the trauma surfaced using tre (which I didn't knew was a thing) so I had relatively high control of the surfacing memories. That's why I think these self-help therapies including emdr feel safe; I can steer the amount of new memories resurfacing.

I also think that maybe you’re a bit misguided in thinking that any therapy will get rid of your anxiety. Most likely, it won’t. Therapy gives us the tools to deal with our anxiety.

I am not sure if I understand. I mean, I really hope therapy relieves me from anxiety because I was triggered to a memory of the abuse.
Of course, you will have other anxieties of life which you'll have to deal with which you'll have to learn. The last one is probably exactly what you mean right?

 

[Nessa7]

I think one source of confusion is that self-emdr has little on common with the emdr therapy you would receive from a therapist. Self-emdr is not as proven or successful as emdr, so you won't be getting the same benefits. At the same time, you would not have the same level of risk.

 

[EveHarrington]

Thank you all for your thoughts. I just had today the finalizing discussion (the last talk) an...

What I mean is that anxiety is a big part of this disorder and going to therapy doesn’t magically take it away. This is above and beyond baseline everyday non-disordered anxiety. Therapy helps us deal with the anxiety better, but it’s not a magic cure.