whiteraven
Diamond Member
I am a part of the management team at work. Sort of "lower management." My own manager doesn't respect me much, even though she depends on me 100% to do all the work and take care of things when she's gone (and, well, when she's there).
I work in the evening with 3 others fairly new employees, all of whom I've trained. They are at various skill levels, and I am available all day for each of them whenever needed. Mostly, we get along well as a team, and work together well. One, though, has a huge issue with anger, hostility, general rudeness, and emotional regulation.
She has a lot of personal issues, and I try to take this into consideration, but she has been insubordinate to me a couple of times and just downright nasty on a number of occasions. I've discussed the issue with my manager, and she kind of blows it off, although she has discussed it with her twice (more, I think, to appease me than anything else). The other two in the dept have also complained to the manager, to no avail.
Oh, and she denies she is angry, or hostile, or rude, or that she yells.
So, last night, this woman got into a huge (and I mean HUGE) altercation with the other two in the office. They responded to my immediate direction to lower their voices and attempt to discuss the situation in a calm manner, but this woman just escalate. She was *yelling*, said loudly, "NO!" when I suggested we calmly and quietly discuss whatever the problem was, accused me of having "favorites," and a whole host of other things that were abusive and hostile.
She was completely out of control. This was late, and there was no other management around. It was right before she was ready to leave, and she was contained in her cubicle and finally just said, "I think you all just need to stop talking to me" which they did, and she left shortly thereafter. I wanted to ask her to shut down her computer and leave, but didn't, because I was concerned my manager would not back me on that.
Besides being enormously triggering for both me and the other girl in the department with PTSD, I am really concerned about how to handle the upcoming meeting with HR. I made it *very* clear to my manager that this was a completely inappropriate reaction on the part of this woman regardless of what was said to her, that there was no justification for how she behaved, and that I expected something to be addressed on this immediately. My manager agreed, but *still* indicated she was likely only 70% to blame. In my estimation, you are 100% responsible for what comes out of your mouth, no matter what people say to you. And that comes from someone who totally gets what it means to be triggered - all over the place.
I really and truly just want things to be calm and quiet and I want everyone to get along. I get that doesn't always happen when people are together, but why do people have to be so ugly to each other? omg. It just makes me cry.
I work in the evening with 3 others fairly new employees, all of whom I've trained. They are at various skill levels, and I am available all day for each of them whenever needed. Mostly, we get along well as a team, and work together well. One, though, has a huge issue with anger, hostility, general rudeness, and emotional regulation.
She has a lot of personal issues, and I try to take this into consideration, but she has been insubordinate to me a couple of times and just downright nasty on a number of occasions. I've discussed the issue with my manager, and she kind of blows it off, although she has discussed it with her twice (more, I think, to appease me than anything else). The other two in the dept have also complained to the manager, to no avail.
Oh, and she denies she is angry, or hostile, or rude, or that she yells.
So, last night, this woman got into a huge (and I mean HUGE) altercation with the other two in the office. They responded to my immediate direction to lower their voices and attempt to discuss the situation in a calm manner, but this woman just escalate. She was *yelling*, said loudly, "NO!" when I suggested we calmly and quietly discuss whatever the problem was, accused me of having "favorites," and a whole host of other things that were abusive and hostile.
She was completely out of control. This was late, and there was no other management around. It was right before she was ready to leave, and she was contained in her cubicle and finally just said, "I think you all just need to stop talking to me" which they did, and she left shortly thereafter. I wanted to ask her to shut down her computer and leave, but didn't, because I was concerned my manager would not back me on that.
Besides being enormously triggering for both me and the other girl in the department with PTSD, I am really concerned about how to handle the upcoming meeting with HR. I made it *very* clear to my manager that this was a completely inappropriate reaction on the part of this woman regardless of what was said to her, that there was no justification for how she behaved, and that I expected something to be addressed on this immediately. My manager agreed, but *still* indicated she was likely only 70% to blame. In my estimation, you are 100% responsible for what comes out of your mouth, no matter what people say to you. And that comes from someone who totally gets what it means to be triggered - all over the place.
I really and truly just want things to be calm and quiet and I want everyone to get along. I get that doesn't always happen when people are together, but why do people have to be so ugly to each other? omg. It just makes me cry.
