Sex Under The Influence Of Alcohol And/or Drugs

[Socha]

I'm in a relationship with my loving boyfriend for 6 years now. Sex is one of the things we rarely talk about and rarely have due to my PTSD from child sexual abuse and it seems to be a difficult topic for both of us.
When we have sex I'm either drunk, stoned or both. It helps me relax and only in this condition I can enjoy the sex even though it's impossible for me to climax. When I'm not drunk or stoned there is a high possibility that I get overwhelmed by my feelings, get flashbacks and can't even tell him to stop because I feel selfish to do so.
I read a lot of topics since I found this great forum but haven't read something like this. I wonder if anyone has similar experiences or any tips on how to have enjoyable sex without alcohol and pot.

 

[MrsBeasley86]

I am the same way. Not so much now with my husband. But there are times when I don't want to even be touched. But therapy has really helped me with it. Are you in therapy?

 

[Socha]

I was in therapy for two years and am still on medication. It wasn't trauma focused therapy and I barely discussed that topic with my therapist. I'm relatively stable at the moment and I'm torn whether to start therapy again or not because I know it will be really hard and I'm not sure if I'm ready to go through with it.

 

[Friday]

A lot of things which cannot be accomplished on their own at first, are accomplished with the help of medication at first, and then gradually peeling away the medication to learn to be able to do a thing straight.

That would be my suggestion. Gradually start lessening how drunk/stoned you are. Then start playing around with not drinking or smoking until partway through. Then not until after. Then not at all. Intermingled, as well, with times that you are medicated. So even though you may be tapering off the self-med, today is drunk sex. Next week is stoned sex. Etc. Making the whole thing a gradual transition, where you are always in control / are never forcing yourself, but both challenging & being gentle with yourself :)

 

[Socha]

Thanks FridayJones!