Star Leann
New Here
Hi.... My name is Star and its my first post and I suffer from PTSD
I mean it all started about 4 years ago I was 12 almost 13 a roommates boyfriend raped me and I didn't tell anyone for a long time. Soon I became very depressed and I began to harm myself by cutting I even made a few suicide attempts. My mom finally found out about it and she did what she could to be there for me. Then two months ago I was in the same room where it happened with a friend. I was tired and my friend began to touch me. I became disassociated from myself, reliving the first incident while going through a second. My flashbacks and anxiety got worse my life became hell. I was constantly miserable wishing I could escape the pain I do not understand why he would do something to me like that. Made no sense to me. Now today while I was writing someone special to me a letter, I kinda got my mind back.
I'm the kind of girl that won't go down without a fight, and I'm not going to let him win, IMA beat him! I can only hope that he goes to jail as the piece of meat he treated me as. Or ends up living in a cardboard box on and empty street. I won't admit defeat, my friend showed me he never took the power from me. He has nothing over me. He played his cards, gonna get caught by guards, be the one cleaning up the yards. If he was ever worth any thing he proved it otherwise to me, he blew his disguise, and showed his real colors. I'm done being scared I'm not gonna hide.
If I see him near I'll make it clear who's boss here and who's the one with no pride no say because he takes part of people away but even they don't stay instead they get away, brake free from his safe go back to the rightful place he'll see it when he looks at my face he stole something for me, but gave away his dignity pride honor just to take to the corner like a kid done wrong, knows what he did was wrong. Thinks an "I'm sorry" will make it all better, its sad that's what he thinks, who was his example setter. I may not be better but I'm getting their. I can get through it. I can't let him haunt me. I'm trying to be me again.
I mean it all started about 4 years ago I was 12 almost 13 a roommates boyfriend raped me and I didn't tell anyone for a long time. Soon I became very depressed and I began to harm myself by cutting I even made a few suicide attempts. My mom finally found out about it and she did what she could to be there for me. Then two months ago I was in the same room where it happened with a friend. I was tired and my friend began to touch me. I became disassociated from myself, reliving the first incident while going through a second. My flashbacks and anxiety got worse my life became hell. I was constantly miserable wishing I could escape the pain I do not understand why he would do something to me like that. Made no sense to me. Now today while I was writing someone special to me a letter, I kinda got my mind back.
I'm the kind of girl that won't go down without a fight, and I'm not going to let him win, IMA beat him! I can only hope that he goes to jail as the piece of meat he treated me as. Or ends up living in a cardboard box on and empty street. I won't admit defeat, my friend showed me he never took the power from me. He has nothing over me. He played his cards, gonna get caught by guards, be the one cleaning up the yards. If he was ever worth any thing he proved it otherwise to me, he blew his disguise, and showed his real colors. I'm done being scared I'm not gonna hide.
If I see him near I'll make it clear who's boss here and who's the one with no pride no say because he takes part of people away but even they don't stay instead they get away, brake free from his safe go back to the rightful place he'll see it when he looks at my face he stole something for me, but gave away his dignity pride honor just to take to the corner like a kid done wrong, knows what he did was wrong. Thinks an "I'm sorry" will make it all better, its sad that's what he thinks, who was his example setter. I may not be better but I'm getting their. I can get through it. I can't let him haunt me. I'm trying to be me again.
