Hello all, I was sexually abused as a child by my brother and I am male. I realize now that the anal fetish I have (something I’ve lived with tremendous shame about) has become a real obstacle to intimacy in my 28 years of marriage to a woman. I’ve often thought “it would be so much easier if I were gay.” I even explored relationships with men in my teens because I thought the fetish might mean that I am gay. But I’m definitely not attracted to men in this way. My wife does not share in this fetish and so our sexual intimacy is almost non-existent. I really want this intimacy with her because I know it is good for both of us individually and as a couple. My dilemma is I don’t know how to change or overcome this fetish. It seems almost hardwired into my brain because the abuse occurred when I was around 10 yrs old. Does anyone have experience with changing something like this consequence of childhood abuse?