Sexual issues with sufferer

[Agolu]

Help, I can't get my combat PTSD boyfriend off or even hard! At first I thought maybe he just didn't find me attractive, but I now know that's silly. It finally came out that he's had occasional issues with that ever since getting out of the Army and being diagnosed with TBI and PTSD. He was really upset when he told me and said it's not even going to be fun hooking up with me now since he feels tons of pressure to perform. I also feel pressure since it feels like I can't "do it" for him. So now it's a huge mental block and source of frustration for both of us. I also know he's been super exhausted from work and school so I'm sure all these other factors contribute to it. I really like him and want him to feel comfortable with me. What should I/we do about this?

 

[Awa]

Is he on medication?

 

[Tuba]

Similar problem: Forgetting how to talk when you have to "perform" in front of a large audience.

First things first: Get it off your mind. Do your best to not worry about it. Be patient and don't act like it troubles you if it isn't working.

Psychological pressure of any kind, especially fear or uncertainty, will make sex impossible for anyone of any gender. So, try to take off the pressure. He thinks you won't have fun hooking up without sex -- prove him wrong. He also feels pressured to have sex to begin with, so give him space. He doesn't HAVE to have sex this week, month, or year if it's not comfortable.

If sex starts and then has to stop, that's okay too. That happens to plenty of men AND women (etc), even outside of groups with TBI and PTSD.