Sexually Transmitted Diseases

[Hewis]

I am kind of surprised how little this topic is talked about.

With all the people with sexual abuse and the aftermath, which in my case was promiscuity, I am surprised more people have not come forward with facing this. In the past few years I have only heard of 3 people on this forum.

For me, I have had them 3 times, thank fully all curable but it really hurt my self esteem. I felt dirty, stupid and I felt punished. I thought maybe I deserved them. Deserved to punish myself there. I was so angry and so broken that half the time I wasn't thinking straight.

There is so much stigma with STDs.

I still haven't come to terms with the times I had them. I still feel dirty and angry that more pain happened and it was all my fault.

 

[Bokab]

No. It was not your fault at all.

I'm sorry you've had these experiences, but I'm glad they were treatable STDs.

My situation is a bit different. I had traumatic amnesia about what had happened, so when I was younger I didn't think I'd had "sex" with anyone. I thought there was no need for me to get tested and since my partner had been tested it was OK to have unprotected sex (protected for pregnancy but not for STDs). I could have had anything, including HIV. I'd been raped by drug addicts and drug users, although I didn't know that. I could have given my partner anything.

I've now been tested (negative) and it seems I didn't give him anything, but I feel incredibly guilty for putting him at risk like that, even though I didn't know. I also can't really believe my tests were negative. Of course I'm thankful, but I can't really believe it. So many bad things have happened to me, it feels wrong that I escaped that. Like survivor guilt, I think. I actually believe that it should have happened, I don't deserve to have escaped it.

What I'm saying probably doesn't make any sense. But I hear what you're saying.

 

[Toge]

Well, some of us become promiscuous, some of us become frigid prudes. So not everyone dealing with sexual abuse is going to have the STD issue as well.

 

[Ewukow]

Actually I was talking also about those of us who may have been raped and given an STD by our rapist.

I know my rapist never stopped to put a condom on...

 

[Adado]

Actually, that point was a bit confusing to me. But you've clarified it now and I think it would be a shame if this thread went off course because of a misunderstanding. You're raising a valid point and I think there must be other people affected by this too.

 

[Ego]

I got HPV from either infidelity of my ex or when he drugged me and turned me over to a whole heap of his debtors, which then turned into CIN III, essentially cervical cancer.

It was treated with surgery last year, and I was cleared in early Dec last year.