Shame And Trauma

[wcdean]

I would be both happy and honored. I am glad that it struck a chord with you guys, as it again shows that we are all in this together, all facing (essentially) the same fight. Regardless of how we got here, we are all in the same battle and since there are strength in numbers, it is only logical that we shall come together and fight our demons as one.

 

[wcdean]

And I hate having these feelings like this all the time. :(

We all do, although I think each of us can agree that we each have "some days better than others" (I do not use "good" and "bad" days). That is why we are here, to help each other when one of us may be in a lull. That is the definition of "support" to me, and essentially what defines friendships in my opinion. I never knew I had so many friends; especially ones I've never officially met... and I don't use the word friend lightly. I have a few friends, not many acquaintances; however I have seen my circle grow immensely since coming here.

Thank you, to you all.

 

[Sandra]

That is so very true Wcdean. You are a very wise man.

 

[Tinyflame]

I find understanding this topic is difficult (for me), because I find myself avoiding things (or being tempted to), for no apparent logical reason, or feel shame lately for things like eating, getting sick, etc. Not that it's all 'new' (though some are).
But still, those are 'necessary' things, or things somewhat or entirely out of my control, so I really don't understand.

 

[wcdean]

Junebug -

When I discussed these feeleings with my T, her response was that I've been so depressed for so long that no only did I not enjoy things I used to (martial arts, weightlifting, etc.) but I was also losing interest in the essential things in life. The depression had already robbed me of my hobbies, which brought me joy, and once those were gone the only things left for the depression to affect were life's essentials like eating, bathing, etc.

As a result I lost 35 lbs in about 4 months, and over the last 2-3 weeks have been on an almost exlcusive diet of soup and pedialyte. I was bruising when I shouldn't because of my iron deficiency, cramped from being dehydrated, and my kidneys ached along with the rest of my body. My doctor added an extra AD called Remeron, which has helped me with my sleep and to some extent with my appetite. I am back to eating solid foods in small amounts and am still drinking the pedialyte but rotate it with gatorade (which has less electrolytes) and water. Taking vitamins is also advised as your body is most likely not getting the essential nutrients. I would guess that yours is also closely linked with your depression; perhaps you should speak with your doctor (if you have not already.)

 

[wcdean]

That is so very true Wcdean. You are a very wise man.

Well I suppose a thank you is in order, not necessarily for the compliment (although I should say thank you for that as well as my T tells me I need to start accepting them rather than brushing them off) but more so because you made me laugh... that is the first time in as long as I can remember that I was called "wise" without it being followed by "a$$".

These conclusions are the result of our conversations here; I could not derive these on my own. Therefore we should all thank each other. This is what group healing is all about, using one another's insights to conclude things that maybe we already knew, maybe we didn't, but either way it brings the thoughts to the forefront for all to see and interpret in their own manner, to apply them in which ever way seems the most relevant to that individual.

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you wcdean, have never thought of that as an explanation.

I suspect it's a bit of a feedback loop, as well.
But I am glad you are feeling a bit better!
((((dean))))

 

[Sandra]

Yea I have been called a Wise @$$ and worse many times too. :laugh:

And again I can truly relate to brushing off compliments and turning them into a negative.

 

[Sandra]

Big hugs to you Wcdean. :)

 

[wcdean]

Right back at you!

 

[Sandra]

Great pic, I love it. I guess we can put both of our names on it. :laugh:

 

[Tinyflame]

Hee- too cute.

wcDean,
One more (serious- well, it's hard to be, after the pic :D) question, what does 'depression' have to deal with feeling shame? :confused: ?
I mean, wouldn't one likely just feel apathetic, instead?

Ok and if you 'do' hugs then
((((((((Dean))))))) :)