Shattered Dream And Can't Take It Much Anymore.

[wufnstein]

Well I thought I was gonna be going to Cali. But its a no go. Originaly I was suppose to go to Cali to move in with my friend and his gf. Once I got there. I would have my old job back at kmart. Also my dad would of gotten me a ticket to fly to Cali. Which he did get me last Friday.

Well last Friday my friend called and said everything was a go. Thought everything was good. But Saturday came and talked more with my friend and just wanted to make sure everything was good again. He said yes. Five mins later I get a phone call from his uncle who is my best friend. Saying I can't move in due to the limit of two people living there and visitors can stay for only three weeks.

Then I call my friend back saying he was scared to tell me. But he said everything was good. We yelled at him saying you should of told me on Friday that I couldn't come there. Cause he did ask his landlord early Friday. I would of moved there and been kicked out in three weeks.

Plus now with my current turn of events. My dad is mad at me and is out of 850 dollars. Where I live at. I gotta move out I would told. I am trying to find a place to go to live for a while. I tell people I would get a job and such. Cause where I live at now. There is no bus transportation. I don't have a good balance on a bike. Been like that for a while. I don't drive due to a fear of driving.

I am living with my mom and aunt. But I was doing odd jobs where I found them. I can't walk due to bad heat waves here. I just wanted to restart my life and move on. I am no dead beat. Just want a break in life. I thought of suicide a lot. Cause I got no one idea what to do next. I have been thinking and failing. Wish I knew the answer. Sometimes death is a answer to me. Lived my life and I think its over. I have been trying hard to fight it.

 

[rightkindofme]

I'm really sorry that things are this hard. It sounds very disappointing.

 

[The Albatross]

Three weeks is one and a half paychecks, but even if it's a bust, and no accommodations can be made when you arrive... can you still go?

I might not be above some camping out on couches and saving for the deposits, if I could still have my job. Why not go since you've got the ticket?

 

[rightkindofme]

I always like the devil I don't know.

 

[silkleaves]

I'm with @The Albatross ... I would go anyway. You have a place to stay for 3 weeks, a job lined up, a plane ticket, and a desire to get the heck out of dodge and from what you're saying, sounds like it would be better for your mental health / state of mind to go, than to stay where you are, in the same situation, and do nothing.

I don't know if some perspective would help, but I was once homeless, with no job, and a kid in tow about 2 years ago. I had to move out of my apartment, and the friend who said I could stay with her flaked out on me at literally the last second. It ended up being a huge turning point for me...I learned who my friends werent, and I learned who wanted to be there for me when I was forced to ask for help...something I have a very hard time doing. I didn't have a choice, but oh man you do!

I would go for it...SO much can happen in 3 weeks. Just have to go in with a plan, get to working, start looking for a place immediately, don't stop and think about how hopeless the situation is or how much time you have left...just keep at it. Your friend may have other friends willing to let you stay with them for awhile too, you just have no idea who you will meet and what the possibilities are.

It's in my personality though, to leap before I look. But still, I see this as an opportunity ripe for the taking!

 

[wufnstein]

I know. Tried to talk to my friend and he wont let me stay now and doesnt know anyone else i could stay with. I know. Anything will happen in three weeks. When i worked in kmart there i got bi weekly checks. I dont have enough for a hotel and one other person i know there doesnt have the room. So i just dont know