Sheppard Pratt

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm really worried about your relationship as it sounds quite unhealthy.

Yes, you get a bed and a desk and a dresser. Maybe a chair.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

This is me being blunt. It needs to be said.

I don't think you realize just how LUCKY you are to have such a high ranked trauma treatment facility that is practically in your back yard. Please go and read the stories of all of the other sufferers from around the globe who would give their right arm for treatment like this, yet you seem to think it's nothing as you allow your manipulative self-centered husband to keep you from the treatment that you need.

Go ahead and read about how there are so may members who live in the UK who can't get basic care, let alone specialized treatment for PTSD. Many of them are politely told to "go away" as they cannot be helped. Yes, YOU ARE LUCKY! In fact, I AM LUCKY, and I don't forget that for a split second! And there are so many parts of the world where treatment is non-existent, and the only help anyone can find is by talking to others on a forum like this. Yes, we have other members in this situation as well.

I think you need to get a firm grasp on your co-dependency and if you decided that letting your husband manipulate the future of your treatment is more important than actually getting better, then please don't ask me for any more help.

We live in the same treatment region, and I know of many different therapists, programs, and such to help with PTSD. But, I'm not quite so willing to help someone who takes this in such a light hearted manner. That is, if you're to the point of needing to go inpatient at Sheppart Pratt, you ARE in a serious state right now.

But, I somehow doubt that you can see the serious of your situation. If you rather throw away your future for your husbands babyish antics, then go right ahead. But, don't wonder why at some point in the future you just don't know why you're not getting better.

 

[Hashi]

@zeckster81 I'm also concerned about your husband's behaviour. I feel concerned that his manipulation is so extreme, because to jump out of a window last time and sustain such bad injuries in order to stop you going, this is a severely controlling thing to do.

I'm concerned for you because of the way you present it. You seem to be very accepting of it - not that you want to accept it but that you feel you must accept it.

I can't help wondering how you see your relationship with your husband. Are you staying with him out of choice, or out of guilt/pressure/defeat? I can't agree with Solara in calling it co-dependency. I also can't agree that you're taking this in a light-hearted manner. It seems to me that you might be numbing yourself to what's going on. I'm afraid that the behaviour you describe is abusive.

I have to ask you whether you see it like that, and whether you see any options for yourself other than the way things currently are?

To me, it seems all the more reason for getting yourself into a treatment programme. You would need to somehow protect yourself from your husband's threats (whether these are obvious or subtle). For example that might mean knowing he's under an appropriate amount of supervision from someone qualified, like his psychiatrist if he has one.

Are you seeing a therapist at the moment? Do you have anyone in real life you can talk to about this?

 

[zeckster81]

Thank you for your advice on what to bring and expect. However, please don't assume I don't take my treatment seriously. I would like you to know that I have never taken my treatment lightly. I have always been very serious about it. I have survived death quite a few times and much abuse so I know I am a survivor.

I am extremely grateful for what I am about to enter, but of course I have doubts. I'm scared, I have never been away from my husband and am worried about him, I've never been in patient and I'm scared of leaving my house let alone being in a strange place. I have no intentions of not going and have every intention of working closely with Dr. Wait who has seen me out patient. I am looking forward to working with her inpatient.

I'm looking forward to the opportunity to focus on my healing instead of my husbands. I'm looking forward to the slight break from work where I won't have to worry about anyone else, but me. This will be the best thing I have ever done for myself. I am not suicidal, I am signing myself in and taking advantage of what they have to offer.

I have a degree in counseling and know for sure this is the best thing for me. My husband too has a mental illness and needs guidance on how to handle these things so I am preparing him. He wants me to get help but is scared of being alone too. He has never been alone and deserves to express his feelings.

However, I do agree with you that his actions and behaviors are not good. He should be a little more supportive knowing this will help me. We talked about it and made a contract that he will stay alive and take care of the cats if I call him a few times a week to chat so he knows I am ok. We put together some activities for him to do while I am gone.

I greatly appreciate you help.

Peace,
Amanda :happy:[DOUBLEPOST=1398813064,1398812807][/DOUBLEPOST]I see a therapist twice a week who is highly qualified in trauma work and well known for it. I am feeling a little trapped because I love him but see his behavior as childish. I am hoping my time away is an opportunity for growth for both of us. I don't want to make any relationship decisions until I am much better and stronger myself because I don't feel making serious decisions like that at my lowest point is healthy. However, we both see a therapist seperately, see one together and are both seeing psychiatrists. Thanks for asking.

 

[Amy green]

Has anyone been to Sheppard Pratt? I am scheduled to go inpatient in a few weeks. I would love to hear about your experience. Thanks in advance.

Hi. I was released from sheppard Pratt trauma disorders about six weeks ago. First, you don't get a private bathroom. But they are not locked. You sign up for shower times. Each bedroom has a twin size bed and a dresser. Nothing else. Definitely bring a water bottle. Unless you'll have frequent visitors, bring some food. You'll have a long lapse of time before you're able to get vending machine trips. So... Bring soda or snacks, etc. you'll get a cubby in the dining room that is locked to store your stuff.

Bring warm clothes. The building is very drafty. To the point that snow blew in during the winter. Yea.... It's old. Bring money because once per week everyone orders takeout from a restaurant. Living so close it might not be such a big deal for you though if you have visitors I mean. You're allowed to iPods. No cell phones.

There is a packing list on their website! Have you seen it? It is kind of misleading , however on some things. The thing I had the hardest time with, was nighttime noise by staff. Very loud. Hard time sleeping. You will get checked by staff at least every 15 minutes. If you're in the shower, they have to see you. If you're in the bathroom, they check. While you're sleeping, they check in on you. Oh and when you get there, sign up for the laundry list. It moves PAINFULLY slow.

The staff - doctors therapists are very kind. There are mental health workers that are exceptional and others that are there to collect a paycheck. It will be quickly obvious to you :) and yes, because of the cycling, you don't get through all of the lessons or coping skills. They try their best.

It is in sitting in the green helping chairs that teaching these skills get filled in. If you reach out for help in the green chairs and the mental health worker disappoints you, don't get disappointed. Keep trying!!!!!! I can't stress this enough!!!

And do not get caught up in the quagmire of other peoples mess. If you have any other questions, please ask. Take care of yourself. You deserve this chance to heal :)

 

[zeckster81]

Thanks!!! That is helpful. I'll take money, snacks, ear plugs etc. you have been helpful. Are there any hints for me regarding staff personalities. Things that I shouldn't do. I don't want to upset anyone.[DOUBLEPOST=1398995916,1398995805][/DOUBLEPOST]Oh can I bring crayons, colored pencils???

 

[Amy green]

Thanks!!! That is helpful. I'll take money, snacks, ear plugs etc. you have been helpful. Are there any hints for me regarding staff personalities. Things that I shouldn't do. I don't want to upset anyone.[DOUBLEPOST=1398995916,1398995805][/DOUBLEPOST]Oh can I bring crayons, colored pencils???

Everyone tries their very best to be extremely helpful. You definitely will not upset anyone. It's a very safe environment. You will feel very safe there- I hope! I think they all realize that you're there at a very hard time in your life, you're there to rebuild, and you're doing the best you can to heal.

As far as crayons- I think so... And colored pencils - I think so... If not, they may take them and allow you to check them out once you get to the higher level of safety. I am trying to think what was was available in the living room in terms of art supplies.... I think it was crayons. I'm not an art person. Sorry :) they do allow shoe strings and drawstrings in pants which came as a surprise to me. I had cut all of mine out before I got there :( and you can take a speaker with a short cord on it. I think the details on that are on the website checklist. I'm assuming they allow ear plugs? I'm not sure in that one? When you have your final intake date set, you'll speak with the intake coordinator and you can ask her? I don't remember anyone having ear plugs. And here's another tip ha! Every morning and every evening you'll get your vitals checked. Try to get in line early unless you don't mind waiting forever :) That goes too for the nighttime med lines :) Very very slow moving.

Some of the groups are intense, but try to go to as many as you can. Not going to groups is the fastest way to irritate staff :) Ask for help by sitting on green chairs. If you're not feeling safe, tell staff. They are there to help you. And you are allowed to meet with a dietician if you aren't getting what you need from your meals. They are reasonably accommodating.

I think you mentioned parking? I was parked for two weeks in the lot right next to where I entered the building only because they don't give you any direction otherwise. I had no problems parking there.

I'm happy to answer any ?s you have. I would have loved having someone to answer my ?s before I went :) Ask away.

 

[zeckster81]

You are so helpful! I had asked about parking already. They said G lot. I know I'll get on a higher safety level quick because I'm not suicidal nor harming at this point. I think Mon or Tue is my date. Is there a visitor limit? Are the cubby locked. Could I lock my cash in there? How often do we get to go outside?

 

[Amy green]

The cubbies are locked, but are only for food. They allow you to keep $50 on the unit. And will send whatever you bring above that to security. I'm sure if you choose- you can send more to security.

Do NOT assume you will get higher safety level quickly. It is not automatic because you think you are safe. Not to scare you, but just their way of deciding who gets safety level is strange.

Why I suggest you may wanna bring some soda or food if you are used to wanting them :) you ONLY go outside on the highest level of safety and you only get there when you're ready to leave. And it's only a few times per day. It's an insurance thing I'm told. If you're safe enough to be outside, you're safe enough to be home, etc. I am not sure about visitors.... I lived very far away so I didn't have any. The visiting hours are only a few hours each day. I do know that much.

 

[zeckster81]

HI,

I'm glad you warned me about the safety level thing. I wish I could bring my three cats :) I'd rather have them than food. I doubt I would spend $50 on vending, but if we order out that probably adds up quick. I got the call today. I'm going down Tuesday. My psychiaatrist is Dr. Wait. Was she yours? I met her once back in Feb. She was really nice. I hope she is just as nice inpatient :)

Amy, I feel like I am able to relax thanks to you. I can get an idea of what the unit will be like. Is there a community TV/DVD player. I have some uplifting movies like Drum Line and such that I wouldn't mind sharing and watching on free time. I can't wait for group. I imagine there will be difficult times, but I am hoping to gain some pretty awesome skills to help me deal with flashbacks and such. I keep having a really bad body memory lately that I'm struggling with. My therapist is very well known for trauma but we are even struggling with it in session. HOpefully I'll be able to get a tangle on it next week.

I actually have more hope about my life knowing I am going inpatient and getting help than I had before. I'm looking forward to going because i know the help will benefit me in the long run.

:) Amanda

 

[Amy green]

Hi,
I will write more later. I just wrote a longggg entry and it was erased to the cyber world. I will write tho. Be good to yourself this weekend. You have a lot of healing ahead of you :)

 

[zeckster81]

I'm a Director for Religious Education and Youth Ministry so I'll be working on Saturday.. We have our First COmmunion Program. I was upset at first that I didn't get in on Monday, but now I realize at least I'll have an extra day to do laundry...llike your hint by the way...and play with the cats. I'm not sad about leaving my husband as much because he knows whats going on, but the cats are momma's babies and will be confused. I mmean I'll miss Dave, didn't want that to sound bad, but he understands. LOL