Shit That Kept Us Laughing

[Wagon]

We slept one top of each other in a steel box so offenders were taken care of after a few polite reminders. Generally a blanket party followed by a trip to the showers and being scrubbed down with deck brushes. Its called deck plate justice.

 

[reddevil1111]

2 bars of soap in a sock. Tie a knot for holding them in as in the dark you can be confused. Go bust some ass. A good blanket party comes back with bloody socks and broken soap. Malingerers seem to fall in line shortly afterward.

I did have my eyes glued shut with toothpaste once. Not fun.

 

[Barberian]

... I was threatened with among other things like being tied up with aircraft tiedown chains and thrown overboard dead or alive, with a sock party. Soap, spare change, nuts and bolts, just about anything. I was threatened because I was trying to do my job of supervising some thugs who didin't want to work in a war zone. They didn't care about the guys on the sands and in the streets, they just wanted to watch TV, go to the gym, sleep during working hours. For six months I was in fear for my life around these thugs. My chain of command wouldn't do anything about it. I was on my own, often having to do the work myself. One of the reasons I'm here, at this forum today...

 

[Barberian]

ok, walked away from the puter for a bit, took a shower, got something to eat. I feel guilty for posting the above in a thread for humor. I know nothing was posted by anybody to set anybody off, so no apologies are needed or even warrented. So I'll try to put it back on track for "shit that kept us laughing".

We had a guy in our squadron who was a real prick. He was a troubleshooter in the line shack (technicaly knowledgable person who would do last min troubleshooting/servising/repair of an airplane before it was launched or the person that decided that whatever was wrong with the airplane made the decision if it needed to be repaired or serviced before it could launch). I wish I could remember his nickname, but he got it becuase of what he did because he hated his supervisor so much. One day on the boat, his supervisor wasn't in the shop. He took the supervisors coffee cup and dropped his zipper, took out his junk and swirled it around the rim of the cup. It was hot out, and he was sweaty ( I know TMI) so he left some serious funk on the cup. He did this right in front of everybody else in the shop, including females. From that day forward everybody in the squadron knew his nickname, including his supervisor who learned it a few days later. Unfortunatly his superviosr couldn't prove anything, and had to work with this guy for the next 6-8 months. :eek:

 

[Barberian]

I reported my two posts above asking them to be deleted. I felt bad for puting in such a downer in a thread that was intended to be light hearted. Reading a post over at Anthony's other PTSD site for civilians I saw that they rarely delete posts because of the shear amount of work that would be involved in micro-managing the forums, deleteing posts all the time.

So, I'm asking that others post here to get this thread back on topic of "Shit That Kept Us Laughing". Please, killing a thread is depressing for me, and we could all probably use a laugh or two.

 

[Zipperhead]

For a change of command parade Armoured Regiments do a role past. Everyone mounts up and files past the dias to "Salute" the out going by dipping the gun. Well some smart ass decided it would be funny if he filled the CO's main gun with ping pong balls. Sure enough, as the in coming filed past and dipped his gun ping pong balls went bouncing every wheres.

Sorry, I guess you had to be there, but it's all I got there Barberian.

 

[Anglesachse]

Now that is kinda of funny Barby mate. You went and asked Anthony to delete the posts? What the hell for?

I don`t reckon you would ask anybody above you in the Military to delete a balls up you made. Man up and move on. Besides the threads are allways being hijacked and taken off topic.

Don`t bust your self over it mucker.

But to get it back on track....

I was out in Batus with the FRG doing our stint of supporting a battle group, when we were all allowed a weekend off. So of to Med Hat and in to the Bin or Cheeters. Monday morning there is our normal pre op orders and someone mentions that one of the sprogs wasn`t back. A couple of phone calls later and he is classed AWOL. The rest of us are back out on the prairie and after a couple of days this sprog turns up. Gets brought to us by the local State Troopers. turns out he had been invited to a party and clocked off with some local lass, who had ended up tying him to the bed and not letting him go. LMAO

 

[william]

I pulled a abbot and costello stunt one time. They told me to turn the elec generator off. twas really loud, so I yelled back, What three times as my section Sgt got madder and madder. Finally I said hold on let me turn this thing off so I can hear you. I saw the look on his face was that of
if looks could kill I would be mutilated

 

[Tim &Bailey]

I was generally known as the guy clowning around (CHief Billy Brooks told me I should have been a comedian) not a jet mechanic.

We had that kid I mentioned before (shroud of turin) any how he got all mouthy with me and my other bud, well after a small ass whooping and stuffing in a cruise box (about a 4ft by 3 ft steel box) and we set ten boxes of chains on top he wasnt mouthing anymore. Just as we finished we got a call on the PA launch the ready 1 Bandits in the water (drug interdiction ops) SO we all scramble load weps and get her airborne, about 1hr later over our nightly BBQ Chief brooks goes where is Turin? - I look at my buddy and we bust out laughing so we had to let him out. he was being all beligerent and nasty when he heard us come back in. Simple soultion my bud says you dont STFU or you start swingin on anybody your ass goes right back in the cruise box! ...... Anytime thereafter all we had to do was mention the word box and he would crap his shorts.

 

[Jimmy1]

 

[Wagon]

I think one of the funniest things I ever saw in boot camp was two recruits being made to run around to every company (there were something like 20 or more) and introduce themselves. One had a sheet over his head, and the other had a blanket. The sin was obvious, not making your rack correctly. One of them had to skip when he walked and the other had to yell out "Woooo Wooooo".

They came to our company and our Company Commander asked "Who the f*ck are you supposed to be?"
One answered "I'm the catch edge ferry Sir!"
And the other said "I'm the blanket ghost Sir"
And our CC just said "OK, carry on"

They went around like that for a good half a day.

 

[RTO]

While at a promotion board, a SPC Supply Clerk was asked by the Sergeant Major, "At what range do you zero the M16 A2?"

He smartly replied, "At Range 26 off Lightfigther Road, Sergeant Major!".

True story.